Hi all, I haven't posted here in awhile but this one I couldn't resist. A friend sent this to me and it gave me a good laugh. I am forwarding it on with permission. I feel it is especially relevant given all the hype about ferrets biting people and being dangerous. --> SOMEONE MUST STOP THESE "AFRICANIZED" FERRETS!!!!! <-- - Tyler > > Dangerous Ferrets FAQ 1.5 -revised version (with references to a > certain humorless person removed) > > > > > 1. what are dangerous ferrets? > > > > Webster's Hebephrenic Dictionary describes a dangerous ferret as "1. > >a ferret that causes injury or damage. 2. An early blues singer > >(1907-34)" > > > 2. Where do dangerous ferrets come from? > > > From the belly of a mommy dangerous ferret. However, the current wave > >of dangerous ferrets now fanning out across North America is the result > >of an experiment conducted in Bellevue, Washington (a small farming > >community) in which africanized ferrets were imported for research. > >Unfortunately, a queen africanized ferret escaped from the > >ferret hive and bred with the docile indigenous grey ferret. The > >dangerous ferret genes have spread throughout the Northwest and will reach > >the San Francisco Bay area by early next year - posssibly earlier, if > >the wind is right. > > > 3. How can I tell if a ferret is dangerous? > > > It was formerly thought that retrusion of the fourth incisors was a > >certain sign that a ferret is dangerous, but the recent discovery that > >ferrets do not have fourth incisors makes this method of verification > >unreliable. A good rule of thumb: if a ferret kills you, it is > >probably dangerous. > > > 4. How can I protect myself against dangerous ferrets? > > > At this time, there is no KNOWN way to guard against dangerous > >ferrets. For a time, "Ferret Watch" groups were organized, but this > >activity has largely ceased since it now appears that ferrets single out > >members of these groups and kill them. The best advice anyone can give in > >dealing with the ferret crisis is simply to panic. > > > 5. What Clannad album should I buy? > > > It is helpful to buy Clannad albums in bulk, as a discount can often be > >obtained from the merchant. The average prices for Clannad albums are: > >"Fuaim" - $1.09 per pound; "Anam" - $1.37 per pound "Sirius" - 37 cents per > >metric ton. Remember: Clannad albums are sold by weight, not volume. > > There is a new Clannad album out, so check your grocer's freezer. > > > > 6. Is it true that some people are actually aiding the ferrets? > > > Sadly, yes. Some people have been identified by the FBI as "ferret > >sympathizers". Far from doing their part to help stop the ferret > menace, >they appear to go out of their way to give aid to ferrets! > Their ringleader >appears to be a character known in espionage circles as > "The Grouch". This person has frequently been seen feeding and >consorting > with ferrets and other small rodents. There is a five dollar >reward > being offered for her capture, but not by me. > > > > > yours truly, > > dogpest > > > [Posted in FML issue 0594]