Dear Ferret Folks- Many of you might not even recognize this name. Remember it. Remember it well. It is Marylou Zarbock. Not Mary *Lou*, Marylou. Marylou Zarbock. She is an editor at Bowtie Publications and as such has been my boss at Ferrets Magazine for oh, about a decade. Something like that. Honestly, I am not even sure any more. This Marylou. She e-mails me last week. And what does she do? She fires me. Out of the blue."Sargent-Colburn? Yer outta here, and take yer flyin' tractor with you." And ya know what I say? I say "Marylou, you are the best boss that I have ever had, and it has been a privilege to work with you for all of these years." Thank you for all the hard work you did in the past to make the print edition of Ferrets Magazine such a delight. And when you folks had to move from the print edition to the internet edition it was like the words the immortal character Norma Desmond said in the classic Hollywood movie 'Sunset Boulevard.' ---"I *am* big. It's the *pictures* that got small." Yes, they did. And not because of any failing on *your* part. This is an age that is ruthlessly eating up periodicals. And now Ferrets USA is no more, so I am told. Another Bowtie publication under Marylou's purview. And Critters Magazine? The same. The internet edition of Ferrets Magazine? Up and running, but a bit wobbly at the knees at the moment. Now, I have been fired before. (Slapping hands against sides of face.) I know! Can you *believe* it? But it's true. Not everyone appreciates me for me. There was the time the company I was working for put me up at the Four Seasons hotel in Montreal, and I had the local fried chicken restaurant deliver my dinner in their distinctive little yellow truck with the light up chicken on top right to the front doors. Sainte Hubert chicken, there is nothing like it. And there is nothing quite like being fired. Actually, if you take the letters in the word 'fried' and scramble them around, you get 'fired.' Who knew? It *wasn't* in the company handbook. I got fired once when an entire case of whiskey went missing at the restaurant I waitressed at. Why suspect me? Because I had abruptly stopped drinking Mai-Tai's and Scorpion Bowls with my co-workers after work at the bar when the restaurant was closed (yes, a Chinese restaurant) and started attending AA Meetings. That meant I must have had a drinking problem. Now, my co-workers who stayed until two in the morning and drank all of their tips and then staggered to their cars and drove over the curb to get home, they were not suspects.The fact that I no longer drank meant that I had a 'problem'. So when the case of whiskey disappeared, I was the first suspect. You see the logic, don't you? I promise you, Marylou Zarboc is the only person on earth who can fire me and what do I think? "Oh, no! Is Marylou OK? Is her job secure? Oh, gosh, she is having to fire folks, I don't think she is going to like that much...In fact, I am sure of it." Marylou, If I had any of that case of whiskey left (how did they imagine I was going to sneak a wooden box that weighed more than I did at the time out of the building under my little uniform skirt?) I would pour you a shot. HOWEVER, you live in California, so maybe a nice glass of white Zinfandel and me yelling up your bosses pant-leg "DO YOU NOR REALIZE WHAT A TREASURE YOU HAVE IN THIS WOMAN?" is the best I can do. You can fire me anytime. Alexandra in MA [Posted in FML 7493]