We have suffered several (expected) losses in the last couple of months--but on Saturday, our little Ginger (Squirrels Group), who ran & played all around the room all day with everyone----was dead in her hammy at meds time. She hadn`t even been sick. Total shock----and I feel I had just cursed her, that afternoon. I had said to my volunteers "I know one isn`t supposed to have favorites---and I don`t tell the others---but little Ginger here---she`s my cuddle baby. Gets along with absolutely everyone. Never misses her box. I just love her with all my heart. I think if I could only keep ONE, she would be that one"---and I grinned, & held her close, as she kissed my nose. In four hours, when I went to wake her for meds, she was in her hammy--dead. In a comfortable position. She had died in her sleep. It was quick, and for that I am glad. But such a shock... You never know who`s next. I`m so glad she got out each day to play. If she hadn`t, I`d have been eaten up with guilt. Woulda, shoulda, coulda--as with ANY loss one suffers... In the past several years, we have made friends with many shelters across the country, & I have learned that sanctuaries don`t have a corner on grief & loss. Many shelters out there have "unadoptables" whom they hospice until the end. (Maybe not as many, but they certainly do understand the pain.) They hurt, just as deeply as we do. One of the ways I cope with all of the sickness & death, is to do right by the animals every day of their lives, so that eventually, when they are taken from us, we know in our hearts, that we have done everything possible to give them a wonderful life. No regrets. We tried to make it up to them, for what the last human(s) did to them--and we made them feel loved... We focus tremendous energy on making each day special for the ferrets---sometimes to the exclusion of friends & family. If we need an emergency vet visit, the lunch with a friend gets cancelled. If a carrier with one needing special feedings is unwelcome at a holiday gathering, we don`t go. Lately, I haven`t been much to the few boards I remain on. Our website doesn`t reflect the last 18 who have come to us, because I have been busy with them, instead of updating the site. There aren`t enough hours in the day. I haven`t been good to call & check on friends. One of my dearest friends lost her dad---and I didn`t even know...I can`t tell you how rotten I felt. By doing what I feel I have been called to do, other things have really slid sometimes. I want to apologize now, for not sending any cards out, this year. For every card I don`t send, I am helping a fuzzy--either ours, or someone else`s. (The phone rings a lot here!) Hopefully when I die, if there IS a Rainbow Bridge, the thunder of little feet will be running TOWARDS me, & not away LOL. And maybe there will be just a little more TIME there... Sending comforting hugs to all who have suffered a loss, or are going through rough times. Please give your fuzzies a snuggle from us :) Merry Christmas. Love, Zoo [Posted in FML 6904]