Reading and sharing with you all everyday gives me so much peace. I swear we're all masochists. The things we do and go through all for these small furry critters which are for the most part poorly bred, spayed and neutered too early, and have horrible health issues. Some of us up the ante by being shelter ferrents, talk about begging for it. The unloved, unwanted, uncared for all living out their fates. Why do we do it? For those kisses, and dooks, and small triumphs. These tiny packages of joy that bring us so much happiness. I had to make a tough choice yesterday. I have been nursing my little boy since the passing of his sister Vicious 4 weeks ago. He just gave up. He and I have been dancing back and forth feeding, coaxing, kisses. He has been clinging to me like a baby monkey, and all the while slowly wasting away. I needed to get some weight on him so I could get a bad tooth pulled, but he had other ideas. I asked you all for feeding advice, and got some great ideas, thank you all so much. Many of them worked, and he ate, but not enough. So off we went to the vet. Dear doc please give us a miracle. The truth was staring at me, tucked into his favorite towel. That tooth wasn't super bad, not enough to cause this sort of total food refusal. He had no obvious other ailments outside of a little adrenal fun. The usual stuff. So doc says well we can force him, we can hospitalize him and get an IV in there blah blah blah I stopped listening. The point is really that Gizmo stopped living and was just surviving. Only surviving as long as I coaxed and begged and pleaded. If he survived the treatment planned he would need further treatment, and so on. All to please my selfish need to hang on to him as long as possible. So I gave him the best gift I could, second to the day I brought his little behind home from the shelter. I let him go. Bridgegreeters please be on the lookout for Gizmo the Al Bundy ferret. He'll probably cross the bridge backwards, bouncing, grunting, and with tongue hanging out. I warn you, he's VERY lazy, and no matter what you ask he'll do only what pleases him. That being, lounging, snoring, eating, lounging, drinking, snoring, and lounging. Did I mention lounging? Ok good. He enjoys beer a LOT, I never gave him any but he sure tried. He likes to watch TV too, and stinky shoes are his absolute fave. He once turned a pair of my boyfriend's stanky sandals into a sort of ferret recliner. He came from a home where he was battered and starved, then went to a shelter where I found him. He made it clear he was coming home with me when he flopped in my lap and later helped himself into my carrier. I think he wanted to make sure I didn't forget he was THE ONE. We always shared a close emotional relationship, whenever I was sick he always broke out of his cage to check on me, and when Vic was sick he chewed up food for her. I guess the Boss needs him more than I do. Please find my gang, and his sister Vicious, she'll be in the tall grass hunting rattlin snakes. They'll make sure he finds his way to the heart shaped hovel. Hopefully my little angel will finally get the wings he so deserves. Mommy loves you Gizmodo, my forever home is now empty but you have made my forever heart full [Posted in FML 6879]