Dear Sue, The first thing I would like to tell you (And the Big Guy made certain it would be the VERY first thing I did too!) and it's this ..... you are NOT to blame for Bootsie's passing. It was simply his time to come home, and so he did. Now I know that you wrote me personally and let me know what had happen, and just as I knew early, there were two other fuzzits who were just as aware of his coming home even before *I* did. Their names are Macari and Maharet. Twin, albino beauties with eyes every bit as memorizing as red rubies. These little girls were born of the same litter, and went, at the age of two years old, from an obsessive animal hoarder, to a wonderful rescuer, to a forever home, and in all that time neither one of them had names, Can you imagine that? Two years and no names? The home they went to was more then prepared for their arrival and the first thing they did was to be given names. These two were close, so close that when Macari passed to the Bridge, her sister gladly followed her less then a week later, because there was no way she could live without her there. It crushed her adoptive parents deeply to loose them both, but like with Bootsie, it was there times to leave too. I know that this is not want you want to hear, no one does. Each and every fuzzit parent would love nothing more then to know that their fur-child is going to live a nice long and healthy life, but until we can find a way to make this happen, you will need to except that when you allow a fuzzit into your life, you are accepting everything that comes along with us, kind of like a marriage of sorts .... in sickness and in health, for better or for worse, for richer and the poorer ... of course this only applies those top ferret models who make millions in ferretone and craisins by posing for those wonderful calendars that come out each year, but you get the idea. As you were moving, things were hectic, what move isn't, and to be moving not only a home, but a shelter as well, you had your hands quite full. Bootsie was feeling the move, but more then the move, he was feeling tired, and ready to go to sleep, but the kind of sleep that ends with waking here. As he snuggled down and got comf,y a quiet fluttering sound came from inside of his carrier, and a white glow appeared,and when glow faded, there were two soft, white ferrets angels there. They both settled down, and wrapped themselves around Bootsie, placing there wings around him and cradled him between the the two of them. They sang, in unison, about the journey he was about to take, and as they sang he could feel the pain lift from him, and he could feel the love they shared, and then he knew he was safe, and no matter what happened after that, things were going to be just fine. His only worry was you, he wanted to say goodbye, but he was so tired, and so his last request, before Macari and Maharet took him on the journey to the Bridge, was to not just say goodbye, but to convey all of the love he has for you. So here are his words, written in his paws, and his nose! Mommy, I am so sorry that I did not get to say goodbye to you, but I was a tired ferret. At my age, sleeping is not only a past time it's a sport too. One I was very good at, wasn't I? I knew my time was coming, you kinda get this funny feeling when it begins to happen, you begin to see and hear things too. I saw butterflies, really pretty butterflies fluttering everywhere, and I could hear laughter and dooking, and I kept seeing Repete and Newton too. They would be standing there, smiling at me, and then they would tell me they would be seeing me soon, and then they would vanish. I was excited about it, but scared about what would happen when I left. I think that's why I waited until the move to go. Maybe it wasn't the right time for you, but it was for me. I knew that if I left then, it would save you from taking me to the doctor and allowing me to leave that way. You would also be busy, and your mind would be busy as well, and I thought it would just be easier that way, so forgive for going so quickly, but it really was the best thing to do, and as Pie points out, it was a gentlemanly thing too. So I laid my head down, and started to go to sleep and then these ferret angels showed up, and they made me feel so very safe, and they told me I was going to be fine. I was still worried about you mommy, so I asked them if I could leave you a note. they told me I would have to wait until I got to this place called the Rainbow Bridge and then I could. So I did, and I am. I know how much you love me, I know that you is also blaming yourself for me going, but it wasn't your fault, and if it takes me from now until you get here, I am going to keep telling you, and so is Pie and so will Repete and Newton and all of the others you have loved and allowed to pass our way. So please, please, pretty, fuzzy please, don't blame yourself anymore OK? I loves you Mommy, Bootsie I rather enjoy letting a fuzzit leave behind a bit of himself for their parents. Its something more to hold onto, and it goes from being a memory, to a treasure. It's how we look at you, as large treasures we stash in our hearts, and we hope, that when we finally have to leave, we do so knowing that we have left behind a bit of ourselves for you. As far as greetings go, we made a quick dash to the Bridge, all twenty-two of us!!! It was more like a fuzzy blur, and as we arrived we saw coming over the Bridge Bootsie, and he was arm in arm with Macari on arm and Maharet on the other arm and this funny look on his face, one of those "Rico Suave" looks. Later he would whisper in my ear and tell me that having a beautiful fuzzit on each of his arms made him feel much like a movie star and "If only Mommy could see me now!" If you could, you would laughed and probably wonder why he didn't have on a pair of dark shades on to fit his super-star looks, because that's what he is. So tonight, you go outside, and look up to the stars, and find the one that twinkles the most, and know it is Bootsie looking down on you with all the love his heart has to give. In love & In Comfort, Pie O' Pah [Posted in FML 6808]