Today on August 21, 2009, my first ferret Zen peacefully journeyed to Heaven. He was diagnosed with insulinoma last February and later developed lymphoma. Before Zen came into my life, i remember thinking that I would never willingly take on an older ferret, not wanting to deal with their health issues until absolutely necessary. That all changed when I met Zen. I had been looking for the right ferret to call my first for at least a year. I remember entering a local pet store, just to see the ferret advertised in the window in July of 08. The store was filthy, and smelled of bleach. The manager allowed me to hold this beautiful silver gib, and it was love at first kiss. Zen was the calmest fuzzy I'd ever met, happily licking my face. My dad and I were told that Zen was only a year old, and had been surrendered with his female cagemate the month before. His friend quickly found a home of her own. On 8-3-08 Zen joined my family. Our bond only grew stronger as time passed. Six months later Zen was diagnosed with insulinoma which broke my heart. I didn't want to lose my little buddy. Later when he developed lymphoma, my heartache grew even stronger. I'm certain that Zen was actually around 4, rather than 1 year of age like we had been told. I have a feeling that the reason why his former owners abandoned him was due to his illness. Why would he have been so calm if not due to cancer? After months of supplemental feeding, Zen had finally had enough. I held Zen on the couch, trying to get him to eat, but without success. It was obvious that death was near. I held Zen until we left for the vet's. While in the car with Zen in my arms, he was the most peaceful he'd ever been. He just slept, and seemed to be free of pain. When Zen was put to sleep, I yearned to hold him while he died, but was unable to do so due to the vet's constant hovering. Zen is free of pain and safe with God and Jesus. I know I'll see him again one day. He is survived by 3 young and healthy friends, Lillie, Chibi, and Frankie. Even if I had known that I would lose him a year later, I still would have taken him home. May he rest in peace. Randie [Posted in FML 6433]