This is the hardest message I have ever had to type. I lost my soulmate, my ferret, TOMMIE! He passed VERY unexpectedly May 17, 2009, Sunday around 11 AM. Just FOUR days after my birthday. I am shaking and crying and can't believe I am typing this. I couldn't bring myself to get on here sooner. But wanted to let all you WONDERFUL Tommie supporters that he is no longer in pain. My vet picked him up at my house and performed a necropsy which revealed he had an inoperable tumor on his liver way up under his rib cage that had a hematoma (sp) blood clot that ruptured and he basically bled out. She assured me there was nothing anyone could have done and he didn't appear to suffer. I did not hear any calls of pain to alarm me so I think and hope he went quietly. He was not acting his normal self (nothing out of the norm for Tommie though) Sat so I kept a watchful eye on him. NEVER in my wildest nightmare did I think he would die. He had been sooo good since his surgery last Oct. It hurts soooo much!! My little baby boy is gone! My lil booper. He loved his Nbones. I will never forget him clawing up my legs to get me to get him one. He was a goober! Oh but boy did I ever love that goober!!!!! I honestly do not know how I can go on. I can't!!!! Tommie was the ONLY one who could pull me out of a bad depressed mood. Peanut is frantically searching everywhere to find Tommie and that breaks my heart. She is blind and I think she leaned alot on Tommie for guidance. I keep thinking this is a nightmare and Tommie will peep out of a hidey hole. I can not guarantee when I will be online again. I can't be online much these days or I get migraines. The quickest way to get a message to me is my personal email mbfuzzbutts {AT} verizon.net no spaces and replace {AT} with @ or my home address. The hardest thing is I still have balance left on the Care Credit account from his surgery and his near death experience in Jan. So I will be reminded of him for MONTHS to come but won't have him to enjoy. I do NO regret the bill, but now it is almost unbearable paying when I no longer have my baby. You know, it will constantly remind me of what I no longer have. (I am NOT asking for money...just sharing my hurt of what is to come month after month). I do not know yet how much the necropsy - which I normally don't get but I HAD to this time just to KNOW why Tommie just died in mid walking stance as we was leaving the litter pan. What a sweetheart, he didn't want to leave me a mess to clean up so he took his last stroll to the litter. I have been thinking about getting him turned into a taxidermy (or whatever it is called). I can't bare the thought of never seeing him again. But I don't know if I should. I know it won't be him. Any thoughts???? Please keep Peanut and me in your thoughts and prayers. All I do is cry and sleep and cry. Losing Tommie is one of the worst losses I have gone through. He followed me everywhere. THANK YOU everyone for all the support and kind words the past year for Tommie. I met alot a wonderful new friends. Again, please understand, I will reply to any personal messages but it may take weeks. Oh God, my Tommie boy brown eyed black/pink nose, white bib and white mitts baby boy is gone. Tommie I love you sooo very much and I would give my own blood to save you!!! I can't go on without you buddy. I am sorry this is not an elegant good-bye message, but you took such a huge part of me with you baby boy. PS I made his duck soup every day since last Feb 2008 when he 1st became ill. He refused dry food. I would gladly continue to do that for him for hundreds of years to come. His last meal, he didn't want to eat. But I picked him up and held him so he ate a good bit for me. It is tearing me apart too that I was not with him at the exact moment he passed. By the time I found him, he was cold and very limp. God be with Tommie Please! And if possible, please send him back to me. TEARFULLY Melanie From ~ Melanie "A cat or dog steals your heart, but a ferret steals your soul." [Posted in FML 6337]