Dear Ferret Folks- That's it. The end. The alpha and omega of concepts. "Cross-Dressing Ferret Enthusiast." Now, would said con-man in yesterday's FML have been in the news if he (she?) had not been a cross-dresser? I think not. "Fake Vet" is *not* a sexy enough headline in the climate of today's journalism. Today's journalists need to have something Paris Hiltonish to lead with in order to get published. "Sex-Tape" works. Anything in combination with "Kennedy" works. "Anorexia" is good. Ditto "Love Child", "Mistress", or "Suicide." Now, I am at an age where I am starting to wonder about what kind of a mark my life is going to leave on the world. My "legacy." At the moment I haven't made much of a mark on the world at all...maybe a little divot here and there when I have to be dragged away from something *stupid* kicking and screaming because I despise ignorant stupidity and don't handle it well. I don't have a Sex-Tape. Don't even have a video camera. Don't have the kind of friends who steal Sex-Tapes and "leak" them for profit. I don't have any juicy Kennedy connections, except for that one bizzarre incident years ago when it went around the office that I was engaged to one of them. Nope. Anorexia? Hell, no. I like eating waaaay too much. Anorexia involves a severe lack of chocolate in the diet. Not for me. "Love-Child?" Can't have kids. Tried. Failed. (The world is probably safer this way.) "Mistress?" I'm 44, way past mistress age. I am married to a Toy-boy, but the fact that we are married takes some of the power away from that headline. (Dann is five years younger than I am. Eat your heart out.) "Suicide?" Well, there is no fun in *that* headline with regard to one's life. You don't get to read all of the juicy headlines when you are *dead*. So that leaves..."Ferret Enthusiast and Columnist to Ferrets Magazine." OK. That's cool. I *am* a ferret enthusiast, and I do have a happy working relationship with Ferrets Magazine. But...as a legacy? As the sum toatal of what I have achieved in my life? I want more. Much more. Much more media presence. How about "Cross-Dressing Ferret Enthusiast and Columnist to Ferret Magazine?" Oh, yeah. Now we're talkin'. "Cross-Dressing Ferret Enthusiast Was a Frequent Contributor to the (FML) Ferret Mailing List, One of the Longest-Lived Online Mailing Lists." Oh yeah. Now we're cookin' with gas. "Cross-Dressing Ferret Enthusiast Was an Occasional Featured Speaker at Ferret-Related Confrences." Well I was a featured speaker at *a* Black-Footed Ferret Confrence...so that works. OK. "Cross-Dressing Ferret Enthusiast, Columnist to Ferrets Magazine, Featured Speaker at Ferret Confrences and Long-Standing Member of the FML With a Toy-Boy." BINGO!!!! I'm going to rush out and now and donate all of my skirts and dresses and pumps and ladies underwear to the Salvation Army. I am going to *buy* tighty-whities and those little white socks that Tom Crusie danced with in his tighty-whities. I am going to buy button-down dress shirts, and men's jeans. Those will fit if I roll the cuffs up. The "pegged jean" look. I will buy cuff-links, and take hormones. I will wrap myself flat with Saran Wrap every morning so that nothing...female is evident. Well, at my age, they are pretty flat anyway. Not National Geographic flat, but feelin' the irresistable pull of gravity. No doubt about it, gravity sucks. I will grow a long mustache and wax it into two improbable curls, like the late surrealist artist Salvadore Dali. I will smolke cigars. *Then* watch my presence on Goolge expand exponentially. I'm good for ten hits now. With the addition of "Cross-Dresser", I'll be good for a thousand. I will live forever in Cyber-Space. Alexander in MA [Posted in FML 6216]