Phil and I are resolving the ferret housing thing well. He was thoroughly overwhelmed with going through my surgery with me -- it was much too much for him take on any new strains, and for him the ferts were a strain. Of course for me the ferts would have been a soothing and infusing thing during the crucial times of preparation and the immediate days after the surgery. But in the end I went with the love for Phil. He had just lost his wife 9 months ago, after two years of struggle. And we were going to the same hospitals to which they had gone, trying to save her. His level of stress was huge, but at the same time he wanted to protect me from it, so I didn't understand how hard it actually was -- one's imagination isn't always so accurate when the other person is silent -- or, actually, lying! And of course he was doing that to protect me. I was pretty relaxed, all in all about what was coming up -- and a lot of that was due to pHil's dear, comforting, matter-of-fact "lovingkindness. " Ah my. I made a couple of tactical errors in introducing the ferts to Phil when I first arrived here with them. For one thing, this is a no-shoes house, so pretty much right away P got repeatedly bitten on the toes by the bouncers. Then, in an attempt to show how delightful playing ferrets are, I got into the bathtub w/o clothes and w the 5 ferts. Well, since my skin is now so very thin, I got scratched up a lot. To me, this is nothing, but it was something of a horror for him. In retrospect, what might have worked better was to have left my clothing on and to have played only w the two mellow ferts -- or just one. But instead, I showed him what I myself love -- the rambunctious wild play. The clothing bit was that, though i knew I'd be scratched, I love to feel them on my skin, plus I'd been wearing good clothing. So that is how we got off onto a bad start. Then, this house is so well insulated that any smells stay inside. Plus I am not so sensitive to smells, But most and worst was the fact that i couldn't keep up with the necessary cleaning. Though I thought i was pretty blase about the surgery, that was where I broke down. I couldn't bear to do anything "extra." So, thank God, we soon found a nice young woman and family to take care of the ferrets for us. She is a lovely person, a good mother -- quite remarkable in her loving nature, balanced with keeping things in control. She works at a vet, and she runs a small rescue out of her house. Her children play with the ferts a lot and are involved with keeping the bedding (most;ly ROSE GERMAN's), the cage (it's half of my custom MARTIN's CAGE) and the KRITTER KORRAL clean. So, now the solution w are working on. We're having a little cottage/shed built/brought in and a fenced area made in the back yard. The cottage will be my studio and ferret house, and that is where I will do most of my art and sewing and ferret loving. There will be plenty of time for me to do that by myself, and Phil will hang with me there too. I imagine that he will come to love the ferts as time passes. Shortly before the surgery I was bugging Phil to let us get started with this back-yard project. I wanted the ferrets here when I got our of the hosp. Though I had no idea of it, I was making him crazy by proposing a construction project at his place-- he finds them terribly disruptive. Me, I don't, and I was feeling so put upon -- why CAN'T I have my ferrets when I wake up???? I NEED them! What is the matter? What is going ON here? Finally I realized what he was going through, thank God. Then it was easy to let it go. I'm so glad to be in a mental state that let's me see better what is going oin. Fri we'll go to look at a place that makes and installs these things. I am still very tired. The day is a cycle -- pleasant, Thank God -- of energy rises and falls. It is lovely to just lie down when I wane. Sometimes I forget that I can and keep pushing, given my nature, but here I go. See you later. [Posted in FML 6187]