Well it's 9 years ago today, that I lost my first fuzzie, Jade Elaine, I can't believe how time flies, (just seems like yesterday)...then Daisy went to the Bridge in March of 01, Amber-Lynn, left me in December of 06, and now Nikks is gone too :( It is with a very heavey heart that I write this, and it's only be been up to now that I can write this, and I'm still having to do it through tears :( Nikki Taur is gone :( He died of kidney failure on September 15th during treatment at the vet. I took the day off work and rushed Nikks to the vet first thng Monday morning. Nikks was having a hard time urinating (he had been on Lasix and other meds for some time).... the vet had him catheterized and wanted me to leave him there for a few hours, run some tests, scans...and we'd see where were, come afternoon. I was hopeful and optimistic. No sooner did I get home at around 10:35 and she called me to tell me that Nikks had passed away. I was crushed! And still am. I had him creamated and placed in his beautiful urn in the cabinet alongside Jade Elaine, Daisy Mai, Amber-Lynn. My Fab Four are all together. Nikki was my buddy, always at my heels... and he would look up at me and bob his head when I spoke to him, I know he hung on every word I said to him. We had quite a special relationship! Sometimes I would be sitting in the livingroom, he would poke his head out the bedroom doorway, look up at me and stare intensely, never moving a muscle, he would star 5 - 10 minutes then all of the sudden, just turn around and head back in the bedroom. He was indeed a special boy. Something I'll always cherish is his water bowl, (inside is a Disney scene of Pooh and Piglet)... and just like Pooh and Piglet, we were the Bestus of Buddies, he loved to drink from this bowl. I'd keep a small amount of water in the bowl, always cold and he loved it... his own little well :) He would never up-end/spill it. He was a very polite and non bull dozing ferret. He also had his own ferretone dish in the living room, every day or so we'd give a few drops, this was his nectar, he loved it. Dill pickles and bananas were two of his most favorite people foods, ahh and cherry nibs too! Nikks came to me in early to mid September 2001, just shortly after 9-11. I can't imagine that 7 years have passed so quickly, it just doesn't seem so. There never seems to be enough years. I've lost 4 ferrets now, that number of heartaches is a small number to what some of your endure, (shelter operators, I don't know how you can do it)...but it's all a huge loss to me, this has taken a lot out of me, in that I have some heavy duty healing to do. I've decided to put a hold own ferret ownership for a bit. I really do need time to heal. I will keep my ferret things and accessories, cause without a doubt I will have a ferrets again... they are my most fav pet, my heart tells me I'm destined to have ferrets again. I don't want to unsubscribe from any lists as I would like to stay attached to the ferret community. I've come to know some pretty wonderful people on my ferret journey. And I still say there are no finer folk than ferret folk. If I can help anyone in anyway...answer a question, provide some information thru experience or readings, I still want to do what I can - for the ferrets :) I've received cards and emails from some close friends and I can't tell you how much I appreciate that and just how golden your words are to me, they shall remain in Nikk's and my chapter forever :) Well Nikks, my White Tiger, as hard as it is right now without you.... I'm happy that you are free to dance on with Jader, Dai & Ambi, one day I will join you and we'll dance full circle. Until we meet again, may each sun find you well and as each rainbow comes to pass, may it bring is closer together. Life has never been, and will never be the same without you fuzzies. PS: Nikks, I did find some comfort in this poem: The Ship -- Luther Beecher I am standing upon the seashore. A ship at my side spreads her white sails to the morning breeze and starts for the blue ocean. She is an object of strength and beauty, and I stand and watch her until she is only a ribbon of white cloud where the sea and the sky seem to mingle with each other. Then someone at my side says, "There, she's gone!" Gone where?Gone from my sight, that's all. She is just as complete in mast and hull and spar as she was when she left my side, and just as able to bear her precious freight to the place of destination. Her diminished appearance is in me -- not in her. And at the very moment when someone at my side says, "There, she's gone!", other voices shout with gladness, "Here she comes!" And that is death - Death is only a horizon, and a horizon is the limit of our sight. http://personal.nbnet.nb.ca/jadesun/nikki.htm PS: I recall a gentleman by the name of Ken (his last name escapes me I'm thinking it starts with M, but not certain), I know that he runs a shelter in Maine. Can someone please provide me with his email address or, Ken, please contact me. (`'*.,(`'*.,,.*''),.*'') <<'^`*.Jadesun.*'^`>> (,.*''(,.*''`'*.,)`'*.,) Who is General Failure? And why is he reading my hard disk? http://www3.nbnet.nb.ca/jadesun [Posted in FML 6158]