Dear Ferret Folks- Today was Science Day. That's what my nephew Alexander told me this morning. They are giving him high minded ideas in Kindergarten, apparently. He spent the night and in the morning after pancakes, he told me that today was an ideal day for using his toy microscope. (It's one of the toys that stays here for his use. He has a big bucket of them.) OK. I had time to spare. His Mom wasn't coming to pick him up until noon. Science Day it would be. What he means by "Science Day" generally involves the toy microscope. There are other scientific activities we sometimes pursue, but he really favors the microscope. He needs adult help with it. I keep it in a ziplock bag along with some plastic slides and his collection of things that are interesting to look at with 100X magnification. Surprisingly, there are a lot of things in the house that work really well. Bread crumbs. A flake of brown onion paper. Salt. Sugar. Dry moss from a houseplant. Fresh begonia petals. (Those are my favourite, they look like thousands of shiny little colored beads.) Paper clips are good. Fingernail parings are supremely gross. It's always a challenge to find good things to look at. Most things are too thick and opaque to transfer light, and just look like the inside of a dark closet at 100X magnification. Hmm. What to use, what to use. I was looking around the kitchen where the microscope was set up on the island, considering, and I saw...Todd. Todd. Todd covered in glossy dark *fur*. Come here, Todd...little friend. I won't hurt you... Bwa-ha-ha-ha! Man, the *look* he gave me when I gently but firmly loosened a pinch of fur from his scruff! It looked great at 100X magnification. Dark and glossy. You could clearly see that there was a difference between the thickness of the summer fur and the winter fur, just coming in. Very interesting. Of course, we are thorough Scientists. Todd's fur was cool, but how cool would *albino* fur be? Hee-bert...Heee-bert...C'mere little guy... Hebert gave me a stern look of absolute indignation when I wiggled a pinch of fur from his scruff. In fact, that may have been the most intelligent expression that he has ever made in in my presence. I feel very protective of Hebert because...well...he is a moron. There is no nice way to say it. He is as thick as two planks. He needs protecting from himself. We have had to take down the 4-inch drainage tubing that ran from the cage to ceiling level because Hebert would climb up the tube, and then couldn't figure out how to get down. He would stay up there and have panic attacks, panting and overheating because he was up and he couldn't find any *down*. I am not exaggerating. The poor little guy spent an overnight up there once, largely because we didn't believe he wouldn't figure out *down* on his own at some point. Nope. He was still up there in the morning, miserable, rumpled, and moist. Hebert freaks if he has to climb down out of a chair by himself. Too high. It's endearing, in a way. Hebert needs help with daily weasel life, the same way five year old Alexander needs help with daily hoomin life. But Alexander is learning a lot faster than Hebert is. And with considerably more dignity. If Hebert could talk, I'm pretty sure he would have said " What the HELL, woman?!" I didn't get much fur from him. But what I did manage to get looked really awesome at 100X. Creamy white, gently curved and tapering to a seemingly invisible tip. Elegant. Thank you, lads. Your contribution to Science will long be remembered. Alexandra in MA [Posted in FML 6143]