Dear Ferret Folks- Yesterday, Lori (who is wise) wrote: >Now that it is a New Year, can we all let go of our personal gripes and >post about our fukids, ask questions about fuzzy behaviors, help others >with advice , and pass on new information helpful to our ferrets? > Excellent idea! I know...how about in 2008, we include a new posting category here at the FML? Instead of "Anonymous", which is really very generalized in nature, let's try out "Crank", which is much more specific. Yeah. Let's give that one a spin. I think it will be really popular. Just a suggestion... Anyhoo-I have a few other suggestions, assorted bits of advice and uplifting personal reflections regarding ferretdom. 1) Buy a package of screw-in mug hooks. Attach one to your ceiling right over a wall-mounted electrical socket. Now plug in your cell-phone charger, run the wire up through the hook, and plug in your phone to re-charge. It will safely hang from the hook high above your ferret's reach, and you won't have to call yourself to find out where the little monsters have dragged the phone with its stubby, enticing, rubber-coated antenna *this* time. 2) Buy your doctor (or psychiatrist, I know some of you FML'ers out there need a little extra help...It's kind of like needing to take the short bus to school) a year's subscription to FERRETS MAGAZINE. That way, you will always have something interesting to read while you wait for appointments at his/her office. Trust me, the doctor will never notice. I used to work in a doctor's office. I know doctors. Some of us look at "Vogue" and "Elle" as more or less absorbent material that might be good for sopping up the water coming from the base of a wall-mounted sink that is leaking onto the bathroom floor...but I'd rather read the tag tucked into the neck of my shirt that reads "Ladies M. No Bleach". Again and again and again, until the doctor is ready for me. 3) Let's plan a fundraiser...a tuition fundraiser, so that Sukie Crandall can go back to school and *finally*, finally, become a Vet. It's past time, don't you think? The Cents for Sukie Drive. 3) Never, NEVER, make a tub of cheese fondue for the Holidays. Think weasels...think 10,492 Sharp New York Cheddar footprints all over your home. Ditto the "Chocolate Fountain" for dipping fruit slices. Think Labrea Tar Pit. 4) Never, NEVER throw anything away in your bathroom wastebasket that you don't want to find two weeks later beneath a glass-topped coffee table in your living room with teeth-marks in it. You thought your new mother-in-law was giving you evil looks *before*... 5) Wanna have an evil little bit of fun? Start a rumor on the behind the scenes FML rumor mill. Let's say, a rumor about something completely innocuous. Canned ham. And Shelter Operators, they're always fun to kick around. People will believe *anything* about Shelter Operators. And see how long it takes before someone *actually* posts about it, all angry and puffed up. Example: "I don't want to sound critical, BUT, it has come to my attention that certain people out there whose names I am too much of a lady to post here have used their &)*&&^6= 501C Tax-Exempt shelter status to stock up on Hormel canned hams, the two-pounders. Salty ham is OBVIOUSLY not a good source of nutrition for ferrets. Ham does not form any part of a ferret's natural diet in the wild, with or without the accompaniment of pineapple rings and a maraschino cherry in the middle to look pretty. Further, the ferrets could cut themselves on the sharp edges of the can. I feel I have no other choice but to inform PETA of this horrifying, gross, negligent outrage. But I'm not slamming anyone. And I'm not saying who. I don't want to start something. And I'm not saying how many cans are involved. But I have it on great authority that we are talking multiple cans." Oh, yeah, another year. Let the good times roll! Alexandra in MA [Posted in FML 5841]