*A Ferrets Guide* 1) Once you find yourself in your forever home, walk to the nearest corner and show your appreciation by leaving a present in the corner. 2) Your hoomins will try to get you to go in a box with pellets in it. This is actually a play toy and they are really testing you intelligence. Throw the pellets around as much as possible! 3) If your hoomins try to contain you in a wired box, make sure to show your displeasure by leaving gifts in every corner besides for where your play box is. If possible leave a present right next to it. 4) Hoomins may try thwart your presents by moving food bowls in the corners since they know we have too much dignity to poop where we eat, so you most renovate you cage and move you food and water bowls to a more convenient location and repeat rule 3. 5) Hoomins have scary little snakes or worms at the bottom which are extremely fun to attack. Just becareful, since the hoomins are very sensitive about them and tend to overreact when they are attacked. 6) Your hoomins love you very much and everything that is not attached to the floor or wall is yours. They especially love it when you take them and hide them. Their favorite presents to give you are long crooked objects on a ring, the long rectangular object that is about as long as you and has chewy and delicious bumps on it and makes the big box glow and talk. The best place to hide your treasures, and show your hoomins you love them, are places they can not fit. 7) If your hoomins try to attack your toes or belly, thrash and move as much as possible, you life depends on it. 8) If you start to feel bad your hoomins may try to give you liquid food, and if they give to you on a plate pretend not to like it at first. If they give it to you in a plastic tube spit it up and thrash about as much as possible. Also a well placed present on them is usually effective. 9) If you want a treat or something the hoomins are eating, look like you are starving, roll over in front of them, or just look cute, and they may give you a treat. Now hoomin food it much harder, and usually requires the distraction method. Knock over whatever liquid is available, and then grab you prize. 10) Hoomins are there to protect and love us. This means we get to try all sorts of interesting things like freefalling! Climb up on any scalable item, (cage, box, wall with shelves), and jump off once you reach the top! Don't worry, your hoomins will catch you, and the bonus is the look on their face is priceless! To be continued...... -- Life is like a box of chocolates, its full of nuts [Posted in FML 5776]