Knowing their passing is eminent and being prepared for it are two totally different things. I found out this morning when I awoke to Taz gasping for air, making more "old man noises" than normal. Today was the day. Father's Day AND a weekend, but I had already decided that Taz needed me more than a family dinner. Fortunately I was able to accomplish both on God's good grace. The one time I'd ever considered taking a ferret to the vet (in my first hour of panic and bawling and wanting him not to suffer) but no one could get to me for an hour and a half. I was determined that his last moments would not be spent rushing around in a car, in a strange and sterile place where euthanasia is as standard a procedure as vaccines... in a place where he was not familiar and heaven forbid, afraid. Why was it though, that after going through this so many times, knowing how to prepare the cocktail that would end his suffering, my mind now seemed to fail me or was it my heart & selfish love for Taz that wanted to keep him hanging on as ong as possible. One and most likely both. The tonic I mixed for him eased his pain, gasping and breathing struggles immediately, and he just lay quietly in my arms until he passed about 12:10 pm today. A soft soundscape tune "Duration" played quietly in the background, with pleasant harp sounds which seemed so appropriate in many ways. The angels seemed to call him through the music and Tazzy now also had a "passing" song that spoke volumes about the life of a ferret with no lyrics at all. They are here, as we all are for but a duration of time. I've talked a lot about Taz over the years, recently, more than ever since he was diagnosed with cardio myopathy. He has motored along for months showing no signs of getting worse ..or better, just the same as always, looking forward to his twice daily baby food feedings (that help the Lasix go down)- the "spoon full of sugar" theory. His little comfort foods were about all the enjoyment he had left. As soon as he heard the opening of the jar or the microwave, his tongue began licking his lips eagerly waiting his treat. Again I was fortunate to be recovering at home from a surgery and could be here for him day and night, spending tons of quality time in his last days, as I was able to do for Eddie. Taz is a beautiful salt & pepper silver with a tuxedo jacket marking... he always showered me with kisses. ...so many some times, I thought my lips would go raw, at best get an excellen exfoliating. This is the fourth ferret in four months. Tazzy was also my pillow ferret. Hop off the pillow to go use the potty box and return to my pillow , his body curled around my face....a very special bonding with this guy that I was fortunate enough to have for 6 years which made him 10 years old. He was the cure for insomnia, feeling his heart beat against my face, easing me back in to sleep instead of insomniac theatre. Taz had more years than most of these guys get. ( as far as the law of ferret average life spans go) I laid Tazzy next to our pillow until I got back from dinner with the dads which I attended on auto pilot.... coming home to hold him one last time it was quite awhile before I decided, the time for carrying around a deceased ferret had to stop....This was one of the toughest ones for me and none of the advice I give anyone would work on me today. I'm now returning to being cemented to the sofa, feeling like this until Idon't feel like this anymore. Hug your little ones a little tighter tonight,..they are here but for a duration. Kimberly Fox Director/Rescue Mom Somethin Up My Sleeve Ferret Rescue http://companiontalk.terrabox.com/SUMS-Rescue.html Help The Helpless. SUPPORT PRIVATE RESCUE Pay Pal accepted for donations at this email address. [Posted in FML 5642]