Dear Ferret Folks- The dog is a Diurnal Detritivore, she will eat detritrus (A fancy word for junk, debris) of every manner if *allowed* to, but her favourite is hoomin food. You'd think that dogs would have shown evidence of massive 'dental recession', a shortening of the snout and jaws where dogs pack teeth. Once upon a time our distant ancestors, too, had something of a snout, a "Prognathous Jaw" but we started eating the good stuff, and our teeth got smaller, and we got chins. Dogs plain don't need that wolf hardware, anymore. They have burned dinner, thrown away takeout food,the neighbour's trash cans, dumpsters, kibble in a bag, soft food in cans, stale Munchkins from the Dunkin Donuts drive-thru and anything they can beg or steal from the Master's plate. (Master...now there is a joke. My dog has a 35.00$ electric dog collar, a 100.00$ electric dog fence current generating box, a 35.00$ spool of dog wire to make *her* yard ,that *we* pay the morgage on, a soft fleecy dog bed that sits right in front of the warm woodstove so her old bones feel good, toys, special food for old dogs, and a now *empty* 350.00$ velvety green pillow-top armchair in the living room. Plus the inaleienable right to lick all plates before they go in the dishwasher.. Who is the master!) France the Hedgehog is more specialized. She is a Nocturnal Detritivore. She eats some really disgusting things like bugs, but at night. Sleeps all day in a soft, fleecy lined pouch near the same woodstove the dog is camped out in front of. At night she comes out, runs a mile or so in her wheel, and chows down on expensive kibble, mealworms, and high protein hoomin table scraps. Her bretheren are caugh for sale in Kenya by shining a flashlight at them at night at the edge of a hoomin landfiill. They freeze in horror, and try to scare the Keynans by hissing like rattlesnakes. Kenyans gotta eat too, and HHogs are no bigger than potatos. Another Hedgehog goes into the collection bag. Sterling the Catlet is more specialized, still. He is a Crepuscular Detritivore. Most active at dawn and dusk, he has, of course, his own special kibble, and both the will and finesse to jump bodily into the trash can. Where he feasts, of course, on high-calorie detritus. Until it is taken away from him. He also has the agility and sheer ballsiness (we will take take of that soon, little man. Bwa-ha-ha-ha-ha!) to make a play for what his hoomins are actively eating at any given time from their plates. That is why I thumped him on the head repeatedly with my fork one day so that I could have my cake, and eat it, too. An hour later, my husband picked him up, snuggled him close, then looked up questioningly and said "The cat's head smells like frosting?" Now Sterling is known as Cake-Head. Not a name for a carnivore, but then again he is not a carnivore. He is a Crepuscular Detrivore. Then there are the ferrets. Ah, yes, the Ferrets. They, too, are Crepuscular Detrivores. Once, like Cake-Head, formerly known as Sterling, they were believed to be Obligate Carnivores. But...ham wrappers, still dripping pink juice from the trash can, the occasional raisin, greasy, high-protein kibble that costs more per pound than steak, wasabi peas, chocolate of any and all varieties, root beer, roast chicken bones, and..um...rubber. This is a strange diet, indeed. It can only be classed as edible detritus, although I am not sure how to categorize rubber tool handles. Ot the little fur coverings from Cake-Head's toy mice. The concept of the "Species-Appropriate diet" that Selina wrote about yesterday needs to be completely revamped, and most of the current dogma thrown away all together. Sukie wrote of "CONFIRMED CONCLUSIONS", but I say we have only CONFIRMED DELUSIONS. Go look in your refrigerator, list what you find there. Are you not a Diurnal Detrivore, too, eating all manner of strange crap all day long, and well into the night? At least you have a chin. Alexandra in MA [Posted in FML 5426]