I read both articles from the links that Renee had listed in her post. The legalization of ferrets seems to be gathering momentum. I noticed that our side is unafraid enough now to mention some of the negative truths of owning ferrets -- mainly, that they often get cancers, can get caught in dishwashers, stuck in dryer vents, get thrown out with the trash, and get squished in chairs. I think that's a very good thing. I mean, not that those things happen, mind you. Ferret owners have experienced these kinds of tragedies forever, and those kinds of things are the things we absolutely dread. Our fuzzies are curious and fearless, alright, but they are not ten feet long and bulletproof. California's Fish and Game are afraid that our domestic fuzzies are going to escape and interbreed with black-footed fuzzies, thereby ruining the genetics of the black-footed ones. I agree for a small distance -- our fuzzies *are* always trying to escape. I certainly can't dispute that. Bubbles has gotten out twice now. The first time she almost made it halfway round the block before she ran up the leg of the first human she saw. The second time, escaping from a different location, she made it to the apartment building next door, knocked on some guy's door and demanded political asylum.... and food. We were very lucky both times to have her returned to us, even though both times she never made it more than a half mile away from our house/apartment. If domestic fuzzies are going to escape into the wild and interbreed with California's black-footed fuzzies, don't they have to make it *to* the wild? They would have to make it cross the street, then past ten lanes of freeway traffic and the concrete divider to get to the airport. And after all that, wouldn't they have to get past surly ticket agents and Homeland Security first? I don't think many of them would make it to Tahoe. Our fuzzies can barely survive the hazards of urban comfort, let alone make it to the wild. In that respect, our fuzzies are more like homo-sapiens than wild mustelidae. We can barely make it to where we're going ourselves, sometimes. If the California Fish and Game want to prevent this kind of thing from happening, I suggest they go to each and every video store and confiscate every copy of Madagascar. My fuzzies and I have watched this subversive training film many times, and I have seen the gleam in their eyes as the cartoon zoo animals learned how to ride the subway and pirate ocean freighters to The Wild. I have to keep a close eye on my fuzzies for quite some time after watching this film, let me tell you. California legislators are worried that our domestic fuzzies will genetically weaken the black-footed fuzzies. Let's say that some of our fuzzies (those who have bootleg copies of Madagascar) make it to The Wild, somehow un-spay and un-neuter themselves, and breed with the wild black-footed fuzzies. At that point, I would have to concur with the legislators. Imagine the genetic tragedy. Genetically altered black-footed fuzzies, who once fended for themselves, will now leave the wild to invade urban subdivisions and start scratching on doors, demanding chicken-flavored Ferret Chew Treats. They will scrounge through garbage cans looking for material to make themselves comfortable hammys. They will use the same dryer vents our domestic fuzzies use to escape, only they will use them to break *into* houses and steal the dog's food at night while everyone is sleeping. You won't be able to go near a Smith's, an Albertson's, or a Fred Meyer's without being deafened by the rustling of plastic grocery bags. Don't be surprised if you go to the drive-thru at Bank of the West and get a capsule shot to you thru the air tube and find that, along with your checking deposit slip, you have just been sent a dooking black-footed fuzzy. Remember to put the fuzzy back in the capsule along with the pen and shoot him back when you're done with your transaction. Yes, the intermingling of domestic and black-footed genetics will be the start of a new urban madness. And why not? Madness makes our lives interesting. Who are we to question the madness of the California Fish and Game? The California legislation has been mad for quite some time, now. We haven't been too concerned with *that*, have we? We have to learn to go with the flow. After all, it's all madness, isn't it? Personally, I can't wait to see the digital video that Japanese tourists will take of war-dancing black-footed fuzzies in the parking lot of Knott's Berry Farm. I'm sure we'll see these videos as part of the Discovery Channel's series on The Wild. I can't wait. Sam 35.199551 N ~ 106.644249 W [Posted in FML issue 5376]