This post is directed to all of you absolutely beautiful, and loving people who have sent me such heartfelt E-mails of comfort at the loss of my very, very, beloved Sammy. As it was posted, I offered Sammy's extra medicine to someone in need. I recieved many responses and I can't thank you enough, I have chosen to send the meds to a little boy, Moe, who's "owner" basically deserted him at a small shelter saing he would pick him up when his house sold. It's been many months and he still lives at the shelter, with not one dime given for Moe's medical care. Thank you all for the out pouring of compassion. It does help a little. Sammy was so very, very special. My breath was his breath as he once got his head stuck in a tight place, collapsed as I rescued him, and stopped breathing. His heartbeat was faint. Without a moments hesitation, I began rescue breathing and in what seemed like forever, my beloved Sammy came back to me.. I miss my boy in ways I have never esperienced before at a fur-red one going off to the Bridge, Sammy and I spent precious hours on the couch in the ferret room. He rested so peacefully on my chest, right over my heart, being rocked with the rhythm of my breathing as I watched tv. This room is so, very empty, and so is the place where my heart used to be. I say used to be because Sammy took my heart with him when he left. When I saw Sammy for the first time, he was in a small cage,sleeping all balled up in a corner. He openend one litttle eye on his tiny little 12 week old face. I asked the clerk if I could hold him. She told me that she wasn't sure I'd want to hold him because he had just been returned. The people who returned him said that he was mean, he bit. I told her that I did want to hold him. She unlocked his little cage as if he were some kind of criminal. As I held him close to me, he looked at me directly in my eyes, and held my gaze for a second or two. And in that moment, in those seconds, I found the sales clerk to be correct. He was a criminal, In those first seconds that my hands held that little boy, that little boy who was to be a part of my life like no other animal companion I have ever known. That little boy stole my heart. I miss him so much, I miss seeing him curled up in the pom-pom box. I miss seeing him jumping up at his house door the instant he heard my voice, "let me out. let me out, wanna play!!!!" If there was ever to be a point in my life I would finally give up. If Iwere to say, the pain of this loss has done me in and I cannnot do this pain anymore, this would be it. But, then there is you. My friends, my FML family, to help me through this. All I can say is y'all have your work cut out for you this time. Bless You All Sue [Posted in FML issue 5376]