Evening at the McFarlane house, cats asleep, humans asleep, ferrets are....... Slowly, quietly, little paws are moving in the cages, unhooking latches, lifting gates. Bright, shiny eyes peer around, Sabra climbs the bed to check on the hoomins. Socks the cat raises his head to find himself eyeball to eyeball with Sabra, who lifts a dainty paw and says "Shhhhhh, go back to sleep" and she disappears. Quietly, if one can believe a group of ferrets up to mischief can be quiet, the Crew of Merry Mayhem descends downstairs to the computer. Saber hoists himself into the chair, then pushes the button to turn on the computer. Komet, yawning and stretching, asks "Saber, what the heck are you doing? You've got us all down here, it's well after midnight, no chicken gravy, no mom or dad toes to chase, heck the cats are even pooped out! Why do you have us up?" Saber's eyes gleam as he starts tapping on the keyboard. "Komet, we getting a message from our greatest operative, BIG. You know, da guy datt runs the FML, datt gets every message from ferret people everywhere. He knows da codes in them, and he passes them on to all ferrets. Not just us, da magnificient, marvelous Crew of Merry Mayhem, but Wolfy Stout's Dippy, Alexandra's Ping is He and Puma, Petey TPO, dat Sooper Tonks, all of them! And ya know what? I heard momma say dat her friend, Deva Kolb, made a picture of BIG with a big keg! And ferrets were there, too, getting' instructions. She wuz laffin, said BIG was drunk on tone. How cum da hoomins can do this, and we cantz?" All the ferrets looked at each other, eyes wide with this news. But then Cream Puff spoke up: "I bets BIG can drink da `tone and all cuz he's our operatuve for da FLO! He be immooon to it, what it can do. I herd momma say dat Wolfy Stout drunked it once too. She sez on da Troublemaker page de put dat picshure up. What dey didn't know was, dat acushally happened at a big FLO party!!!" Suddenly the computer screen flickers, words appear and Saber said "Everybody, quiet---the message is coming through from BIG" Quiet settles down as the computer beeps quietly, words rapidly appearing on the sscreen. Saber starts to read: "Important message to all FLO members....." Suddenly Izzy squaks: "Turn it off, Sara's getting up, quick, hit save, forward it on to Dippy and Petey, everybody to the cages---keep that message, we have to find out what BIG wants us to do!" the computer goes black, little feet scurry and the last cage door quickly latches as Sara comes out of her room, wondering why she thought she heard noises. Meanwhile, in New York a figure, bent over a computer, furtively types messages to the ferrets, reading from messages from ferret owners all over the world........ Rebecca & the Crew of Merry Mayhem "Do not meddle in the affairs of dragons, for thou art crunchy and taste good with ketchup" "Support bacteria, it's the only culture some people have" [Posted in FML issue 5238]