It is with a heavy heart that I had to let my oldest boy, Nickel, go tonight. He fought insolinoma, adrenal disease (2 years after having surgery for it) and disk disease in his spine. His quality of life slowly went downhill as I watched him gain so much weight from pred and eating so much. I tried to cut him back but he had just ballooned up and it was too late. I felt I was in a catch 22 due to his insolinoma which he seemed to manage without problems, through eating throughout the day. For the past few months he just wanted to eat and sleep. He just had an ultrasound 2 weeks or so ago to rule out a mass in his belly. It was just plain fat, no mass. His spleen and prostate were enlarged some as we knew. The past few days, he was not coming to the door for his breakfast, lunch or dinner, which was so unlike him, he eagerly looked forward to it. I noticed he was slowly pooping around not being able to make it to the litter box or newspapers. He was even eating less. Then Saturday, I saw him falling over on one side when he tried to walk, it was like one leg just wouldn't hold him up anymore. Next day he was crawling around, barely able to get around, he did not want to eat. I switched appointments that I had for a lupron shot for one of my other ferrets and brought Nickel in. Our vet xrayed his spine because it was painful. You could see in the film where his disk spaces were very narrow. She kept him and was going to give him high doses of steroids and express his bladder because it was so full. He could not go on his own even when she expressed him. She called me this morning to let me know there was no change except when she expressed him, he finally took over. I had planned on seeing him and taking it from there. My husband and I went to see him tonight and after a long discussion with our vet and observing him, we knew it was time. You could just tell he was not happy or comfortable. I hate making these decisions and this is the part of pet ownership that I hate. Loving them is so easy and letting them go is so damn hard. My heart goes out to all of you who have lost a ferret. It is one of the hardest things that happen in life. Eleanor and the 6 ferrets, missing Nickel, now at the bridge with his cagemate Cooper J. [Posted in FML issue 5182]