To all of my ferret family friends . . . . The "dynamic duo" is now down to one: Early Tuesday morning (March 21st), my beloved Sasha passed away. She was my "sweet pea", my "baby girl", my "Sashee Washee" and I miss her terribly already. Because Sasha had been bravely fighting a long battle with adrenal disease, insulinoma, and an enlarged spleen, I thought that knowing of these health issues would help prepare me for her eventual passing but unbeknownst to me and her doctors however, Sasha also had a tumor growing on her liver which caused rapid fluid-build up in her lungs and ultimately led to her untimely death. Sasha had been under the weather for a few days last week but I had taken her to one of her doctors on Friday, the 17th (my birthday) and I thought that with the antibiotics we had begun, she was starting to pick back up. I was having to hand feed her soup through the weekend but she was eating plenty and pooping just fine - just looking a bit sluggish and I actually thought she was 'playing me like a fiddle' to get some extra attention. On Monday night, when I arrived home from work, she popped her head out from under the blankets in her hammy and gave me a "Hey, Mom" nod. Then we cuddled for several hours Monday night and for that precious time, I am very grateful. Tuesday morning however, I discovered Sasha in the living room, cold and barely holding on, and even though I tried to resuscitate her with mouth-to-mouth and CPR, I could see and hear that there was just too much fluid in her lungs at that point. Sasha quietly passed in my arms while I held her and gently stroked her beautiful, newly regrown fur. As I looked into her big brown eyes those and watched her take her final labored breaths, I just kept telling my 'baby girl' how much I loved her and adored her. Then it was over and I knew the moment her spirit was gone. I am devastated, numb, and lost without my "sweet pea" to greet as soon as I step out of bed in the morning or walk in the door from work at night and peek into the furkids' cage. Because Sasha had been sick, I thought I was prepared for when this time would come but it has proven far more difficult and painful than I ever imagined. However, I still have Snowball and cuddling with him has been very comforting. Because Sasha passed at home, I was able to immediately put Sasha & Snowy together in their favorite sleeping place and allow Snowball to be with Sasha one last time. I am also very grateful for the absolutely amazing veterinarian my furkids have because he allowed me to be present when the necropsy was performed, at my request. I was actually OK with that because I knew it would be a rare yet incredible educational experience. He was thorough, gentle,, kind and very patient. Although it was rather difficult to see my precious "sweet pea" in those circumstances, it was also very beneficial to have the opportunity to view the internal anatomy of a ferret and also see what had been going on inside Sasha. Oddly, that experience has also actually helped me with my grief in a strange way, though I cannot really explain to you how. Sasha was 7 1/4 years old, at best guess, and I know she had a good (spoiled) life with me but I can only hope that she was able to comprehend, even slightly, just how much I loved and adored her. I also hope I did the best I could for her in these unknowingly last few days and that she didn't suffer a slow, agonizing death through Monday night because the thought of that hurts more right now than the loss itself. Sasha will be buried close to home so Snowball and I can physically visit her anytime but I know that her spirit will always be present with us wherever we go. Sasha was a beautiful light in my life and a precious gift that I thanked God for as often as I would remember. She filled me and our home with unexplanable joy and constantly kept me in awe of her endless suppy of unconditional love for me and her brother, Snowy. I will miss her terribly and she has left a HUGE void in my heart that no other pet will ever fill but I look foward to my wonderful reunion with Sasha in heaven, where I will once again cuddle and play with her and love on my my precious baby girl. I am concerned about Sasha's arrival at the Rainbow Bridge because she never took to other furkids besides Snowball and therefore might be lonely. She's shy at first and but I hope she is welcomed with open arms and allows herself to make new friends that she can spend time with and have fun with until I arrive. If I could have just one wish for my "sweet pea" now it would be that she get a healthy and slim body with a sleek new figure so she can finally war dance instead of just waddle. She was a real 'roley poley' but it was her love handles that made her all the more loveable and endearing to me and all who met her. Sasha, there will never be another 'baby girl' like you and I thank you so much for everything good you brought to my life. I would give anything now to have more time with you again - just one more day or even just one more moment of cuddle time but I am certain you are now in a much better place and full of zest and life once again and waiting for Snowy and me to arrive. Until that time comes, go war dance and dook and run to your hearts content with your new friends. I know you've heard this at least a thousand times already but here's one more for 'old times sake' . . . . Mommy loves you so very much :-) Jennifer and Snowball Remembering and missing our Sashee Washee (Sasha Marie) 1.11.99 - 3.21.06 [Posted in FML issue 5190]