I don't have the words... Yesterday I lost Conner... a ferret who was "dumped" on me too late for me to help him like I had hoped I could.... And now... I had to help BamBam cross over. When I got home from that, I had an adoption to do... two ferrets that have been here for a year left for a new home this evening... Let me try to explain the last couple of days... Tuesday - My niece takes a call from a guy that has a ferret that needs help. They were going to put him to sleep instead of doing surgery. Easier on their pocket book. He comes over after I get off work. The ferret is pretty bald, malnourished and starved for love. He had a prolapsed rectum and wasn't wanting to eat. His nails were so long he was walking on them. His toes were all red and looked so painful. They were clipped as soon as I got the ** out of my house. He didn't even have a name. They had him for 4 years but they couldn't even name him! Wednesday - I took him to work with me and made a vet appointment. Fed him soup through a syringe and kept him close to me. I had put up an eBay auction for people to name him. Is story was touching lives.. At the vets she told me what I feared.. his chances weren't good. Swollen spleen, enlarged left adrenal and dehydrated... severally. She took him to the back to try to get an IV in. She came rushing back, they had just barely poked him and his heart stopped.... I sat there with him for awhile and cried... I couldn't help... he was such a good boy... even the previous owners told me that... he didn't deserve this. He didn't deserve what they did to him. He will have a private cremation and returned to me... the one who loved him... I named him Conner. Thursday - I talked to Shawn on the phone and he said BamBam wasn't doing too good. He gave him his meds and some soup. BamBam had come to us from the Tucson Shelter that closed January 9, 2005. In February 05 he had surgery for adrenal cancer, only to find out that he had a huge tumor in his belly. He was made comfortable and totally spoiled. In August we thought we were going to lose him... he had insulinoma. We kept that under control with pred. and he continued to eat and get spoiled. The past two weeks we knew it wasn't long... we knew he was starting to slow down, but kept hoping for the best. When I came home tonight I was on my cell talking to my dad. I was in my room when I suddenly heard screaming... I came flying out to find BamBam having a screaming seizure (if you have never experienced one...like I hadn't... trust me, you never want to). I dropped my phone and got him out of the cage... he had pottied all over (though it didn't stop me). He was still screaming as I ran to get the vets phone number - it's right on my fridge but I couldn't find it - but it was in my cell phone which I picked up and turned back on. The vet was closing in 5 minutes... but they would see me. I called my dad as I headed out the door and told him I was on my way over to his house and he had to take me to the vets office... he lives 1/2 a mile from me and on the way there. I couldn't drive and hold him. The vet was there waiting... With the help of a loving vet... we helped him cross over to be with a cage-mate from long ago named Pebbles. I come home to a ringing phone..... the lady from NM that wanted to adopt is here. She is only here in this area for a day... I tell her she can come over... I clean myself up and prepare the two boys she was interested in. She is here for about 2 hours. The boys leave with her. Goose and Newton came here the same time and from the same place that BamBam did. Now the whole Quality Pet Cage sits empty.... More tears. Then... my friend Mary Hogan calls me because her baby boy Walter had surgery today and she's worried. We talk for some time and it seemed like he was improving... then she calls me back 20 minutes later to tell me that he passed away. More tears stream down my face.... Please welcome 3 wonderful angels to the Rainbow Bridge gates tonight... three wonderful boys... Joanne Ruffner Ferret Corner Shelter [Posted in FML issue 5128]