Well, darn, now I lost what I sent to the FML and am going to have to rewrite it, what a pain, but I did try to sent a letter many times to no avail. I am going to try to make this shorter, maybe it was to long. First off I wanted to thank everyone for their kind words and prayers. And to especially thank Ferrets across America. Everyone is so great. Second I wanted to respond to some slamming I got. Everyone deserves an opinion, but I have to say I was very hurt by some words. Almost did not take the money because I did not want to offend anyone or have them think low of me. Though I hate to lay my life out to the world and trouble anyone I will. I am a good rescue, it is what I do best and have done for 13 years in Colorado. I love the ferrets and the last thing I wanted to do was close the rescue/shelter, but I did not see a choice. I have never really asked for help aside form the past 2 years and that might be where my fault lay. I realize I cannot do this on my own, but am not good at asking for help. Some thought I should close the rescue but if I do there is no one else in Colorado besides me. I do get frustrated sometimes I admit because I get calls from veterinarians, people and even the state asking me not to close because I run a good rescue and they need me, but they do not realize it takes funds and we only have my husband s check, the rescue is full time. I have always struggled along and thought it was tight we made it, then after my car accident in 2003 things went down hill. I cleaned houses on the side to earn extra money for the rescue and I am a vet tech by vocation so I would pick up some relief work sometimes, but after I got hit I could not work. Since it was and under the table type thing insurance would not reimburse me and since Colorado was a no fault state I had to get an attorney to help me fight. We are still fighting it and hope to go to court son. We almost lost the house last year, I made a plea for help then to no avail and had to end up selling the part of my home that was not already paid for to an investor. I made please everywhere last year but no one could help and the media refused to help the ferrets, they said last year what they said this year "Ferrets do not matter to us." I really wish everyone would write a letter to the Colorado medi a telling them how cruel that is. Anyway, now we own half the house which we had already paid off and he owns half of it. We pay monthly to stay in it. He was real nice last year when he helped us, but now he has turned mean, an attorney I spoke to says it is because he wants to sell it bad to get a good profit so even when we are 2 weeks late he will try to have us out. And can....... Anyway we were doing OK again until November when 2 things hit at once, my husband started to get garnished for a medical bill we had already paid and to stop it we had to send in proof and they had to investigate and once proved they were supposed to stop it and reimburse us (we are still waiting on that). That really hurt us then he lost his job. So as you might see it was just bad things all at once, it is no excuse, I wish I had a savings and did not need to ask for help, but everytime I think I can put money away a ferret needs me and they have to come first. We just need help over this bump in the road. I am thrilled to say my husband got offered a new job through corporate Home Depot and will start at the end of January, even making a little more than before. I am not going to lie this next month will be a struggle, but you helpe d me through the big bump and I cannot be more grateful and we will make it through the smaller one. I do not want to close the rescue the ferrets are well fed always have been, they eat proplan and totally ferret, they are seen by the best vet in the state, Dr. Jerry Labonde, anyone can call him for a reference a bout me or Dr. Joe Bock. Sometimes life throws a curve ball and I just need to hit it back. I have learned from this though, I cannot do it alone, I need to find a way to do fundraisers and get my 501 C3 , my state non profit is not enough now. I will keep fighting for the rescue and these ferrets and find a better way to run things in 2006 and get over not wanting to ask for donations and try to get over the quilt I feel for taking them. Again I understand why many thought I should close the rescue I just hope you see the ferrets are very well cared for, a bunch of bad things came down at once and I just need to get though the next month until Rick is at his new job and we can at least pay the house bill, next I will worry about the excel bill (hee hee, for any of you with excel you know what I mean about that bill, heat in Colorado has gone crazy). If anyone knows how to help me get my 501 C3 that would be great also. And anyone in Colorado interested in helping do fundraising i am asking for help there, my time is 24/7 ferret care I need help with the fundraising side. Well, for now I will just take January day to day and every donation, even $10.00 is so greatly appreciated to help us over this bump in the road. Thank you all. Also I have placed 8 older ferrets into permanent foster homes which I am thrilled about. Oh and someone asked, yes we do have paypal under FERRETSETC. Take care everyone Stephanie Sheme Ferrets Etc. [Posted in FML issue 5117]