I just want to let everyone know that our Skittles has gone to the bridge. Her body gave out late Tuesday January 17th. We later found out that she had a tumor in her intestines that errupted and bled out. She passed on quickly. We had given her a bath and noticed that she wasn't drying herself or hardly moving at all for that matter. So I picked her up and she went limp in my arms. We tried to get her to the emergency clinic which is about an hour away, but we had horrible directions and it ended up taking closer to 2.5 hours to get there. She had passed away before we got there. I don't think they could have done anything anyway. In a way, I'm happy that she didn't stay with us until we got to the clinic...she saved us and herself a lot of heart ache and pain. We didn't have to go through surgeries or tests, poking and prodding. She was in my arms when she went, so I'm grateful for that. At least she knew how much she was loved right to the very last breath. She was my little baby girl. Even though she was 3 years old, she had the body shape almost exactly like a baby, round and playful to the last day. She loved squeaky toys from the very first day we brought her home at 7 weeks of age. She would hear and come dooking to me whether I had the toy or not and curl up on me. Later, when she grew up a little, she would run to the toy like she was attacking it or saving it (we never could really tell) but she would always dook the whole way. We don't have the original sqeaky toy that she loved so much, so I took an old squeaky (not in a toy) and I put that with her ashes. I have this thing that when my babies pass on, I have their bodies cremated then I design a hinged box for their ashes and their favorite toy. One day when I die, I want to be cremated and my ashes mixed with theirs and we will be scattered somewhere (probably a body of water or a mountain) together. I know it's just the body, and that I will be with them when I die no matter where my body goes...but it is a consolation to me now while I am still alive and carrying sorrow. I can talk about Skittles and think about her for a short time without crying, but when I really stop to think about her, and our other babies, I cry...and I honestly don't think that will ever change...and I'm not sure I'd want it to, it just wouldn't seem right if I didn't miss them. On a happier note, we have adopted 2 new babies which now puts us at 10 ferrets again, 5 boys 5 girls. We were fostering them for a month while Skittles was still alive and I think Skittles saw our new little girl as her sister and knew she was going to leave us soon so I think (and feel in my heart) that she told her to take care of me and make me happy. Skittles didn't want me to be sad, she never did like that. I can't help but be sad sometimes, but Aithnea does really act like Skittles told her to take care of me, some of the things she does are like what Skittles would do when she was trying to make me happy again. Skittles will NEVER be replaced, but having Aithnea helps me to remember all the love I still have in my heart to give to other ferrets. Everything I do is for my babies, they know that, and they show me they know that by loving me unconditionally. I will never forget any of my babies, and I will never stop loving these little guys, they are life...they teach us life...they are forever my heart. In Christ, Ann [Posted in FML issue 5136]