Good Christmas Eve morning to you all. I have had a hard time reading the Digest lately - because there are so many others out there, who are crying, hurting and missing their babies. I have been such a mess, that I haven't been able to try and share - and help those through what they are going through - so to each of you, I say I am SORRY. I am so sorry for the pain you are going thru - and all of you know I can say this, and mean it. I pray that in this time of renewal, and birth - that you are able to find one tiny glisten, of a new star - and know that your baby's are up with MY baby - and that they are being taken care of by the best of the best - God (or for those who choose to call it: My higher power). That is little consolation when your heart has been ripped out - and left to bleed in the middle of the world, right? Helena's passing - created something here in Albuquerque guys. Ever hear of "Pay it Foward"? I 'ma gonna pay it forward..........Right at the VCA. My best witness? Petco emplo yees!!!!! Petco, has been miraculously - wonderful. I have numerous people, that are writing accounts of their ferrets, cats, and even dogs - being taken to VCA - only to die at the hands of an inexperienced idiot - who wants nothing more than to draw a pay check - for killing our furrbees. Well, it aint' happenin here anymore. I meet with the Director of the VCA - 3 Board Members, and one member of legislation - on the 28th. I do this to try and ensure that this will NEVER HAPPEN TO ANOTHER FUR CREATURE AGAIN, be they ferret, or whatever. I have requested and OBTAINED - numerous accounts, from key personnel AT Petco - detailing ALL the cases, that they brought to VCA - as well as their friends accounts too - where the animals have died - or been killed, at the hands of VCA. I will be demanding that Ms. Holly Edwards (I REFUSE to call her a doctor) - resignation. She really screwed with the wrong ferret Momma this time. Would I do this, if this person had even TRIED to say she was sorry? Nope. But she didn't. And all she is doing is playing the "blame game" - and adamently refusing to say Helena's death had anything to do with her. I gave her 3 chances, to at least try to accept ANY part of the blame - but to no avail. Guess what? She is in for a BIIIGGG surprise. When I am done with her, she will be BEGGING to be terminated - so that she wouldn't have to see me again. I begin PICKETING the VCA off on Montgomery, the day after Christmas. Anyone care to join me, physically or mentally, please feel free. Now on to the happier portion of my day. Now each and everyone of you knows that NO ONE FERRET will ever be able to replace the fuzzy that has left our homes, but not our hearts, but you all also know that when these tragedies occur, that sometimes, just sometimes, we may be lucky enough to have someone create a NEW spot in our hearts. Doesn't fill the old - just makes the ole' ticker pitter pat a little happier, if we are lucky. I call this new spot: VIN DWEEZIL II. Petco - after hearing what happened with Helena, asked if I would consider adopting this new baby - as they could not think of a better "ferret mom" than me. So - for those of you who remember - Vinny was the one who I found when I was checkin out the new babies - who had a prolapsed rectum. He had it fixed, and was then separated from the rest of the population. Pretty lonely for a baby.......I began going in daily, last Monday. I held him, played with him, spent time with him - in hopes that it would make his transition into our home, easier. I brought in Ricky and Artemus, t o make sure they "approved" - as if they didn't, well then I wouldn't....(Ricky took Helena's passing pretty hard) well, they did - and Vinny came home with us yesterday. Now here is a wierd spot for you all.......when I first saw widdle dweezil - he had the "ucky" yellow baby fur.....( according to my 13 year old....but I say, ucky my butt!!! ). That was when we first met him 2.5 weeks ago...As the days passed - he began to "grow into" his new fur - and the scary part? He is IDENTICAL to Ricky!!! With two exceptions......one being he has ONE white mitt.......(he is silver/sable mix). The other is that (and here it gets realllllllyyyyyy weird....on the top of his head..... he has one white spot......and it is shaped in a great big - V..........V=Vin Dweezil......V for victory? Anyways - here came home here - and taught me something new tool....... for years now, I have read the posts about other folks' ferts "dooking" and bouncin - making the sounds, etc. MY ferts - Helena, Ricky and Arte - I don't remeber them ever doing that..........so we bring in this little "ping pong" ball - and he is bouncing - chortling - and doin all kinds of stuff that I thought people "must be making up".......that'll teach me eh? He hit the floor bouncing, and hsn't stopped yet.......he bounced over to Ricky and "bopped" him one - and then ran like hell.....Ricky looked up at me as if to say: Mom........what the hell was THAT? And one by one, all the animals fell prey to Mr. Vin Dweezil's antics of bouncing, pouncing, chorling and dooking. Aeros (da dog) - threatened to pack his doggie bags and leave if Dweezil chewed his ear one more time. He seems to be Dweezil's favorite aminal to torment......when he has had enough - he turns to the fuzzball and gives him one big LICK - that tosses him over and over - and he moves outta da room.......Jasper (da Mainecoone kitty) - well, have any of you ever seen a cat flip you off? Yep. Athena (da siamese cat) - took one look at him bouncing around and took off for the hills........no w, I guess you all were right. They - each and every one of em - has their own special "boink" that keeps US going...Jasmine (da cat who thinks she is a fert) - sat still until she had enough and then reached out with her paw (no claws - she loves ferts) - and "bapped" him one. Dweezil sat down. Shook his head. And attached his tiny little teeth to her nose. She ran around in circles trying to dis-engage him......they ran into the other room - where she has dubbed herself "his protector" and are curled up asleep, Jasmine wrapped her arms around him and it looks like a Mommy and her baby...... the other ferts however, are a bit "older" and have no idea what to do with him........I feel......ferret.......math.......happening....... uh-oh....I think he needs a friend HIS age...... In closing, I guess life DOES go on. There will never be a replacement for Helena. And I am still crying daily. BUT - I see now - that there IS light at the end of the tunnel and I will be ok. I miss you though, little girl........more than you know....... God bless you all - and for those of you who are experiencing the pain of losing one - I wish I could "erase" pain from the world - so you wouldn't have to hurt. But I can't . However, you may be as blessed as I am this season - and find that there is still room in your heart - for "just one more"........ Kim and her Missing One - uh-oh adding one, Army of Idiots... Lord, help me to be grateful for what I have, and not greedy for what I want..... [Posted in FML issue 5102]