God Bless each and every one of you - who have taken the time to help try to heal me in this time of heartbreak. I have seen so many wonderful kind emails hitting me - that I don't know what to do with em all...... we buried Helena last night - at 10:30 p.m. I didn't want to though. My husband had to pry her from my hands, cause I couldn't let go......I kinda wished I could unzip my tummy, and tuck her in - where I could keep her safe..... I am sure that each and every one of you that has written to me, that has lost one of these kids, has felt that exact same way. What a wonderful group of people you all are. In my life, I tried so hard to find love, and acceptance......whether from family, or friends, or pets. I never knew what the hell anyone meant when they talked about their "ferrets"... until that one fateful day, that I went to replace the "fancy rat" that my son had, that died. I was walking back towards the rats, and my keys fell outta my pocket. I bent over to grab them up - and all of the sudden someone was pulling my ponytail.......and I couldn't get it back!! It was Helena. She had reached thru the bars, and at that exact second I made eye contact with her - I was a goner. She was my first. And we all know what the hell that means, don't we? Helena, (a.ka. Lucy) #1. One week later - Romulus (a.k.a - Ricky) #2. And the......."sigh" - Artemus one month later.....#3 - the big albino retard. Ok, ok - he's not a retard, he just pretends to be one to get more treats...... *smile*. And thanks to CJ - Too Fast, (a.ka. Morganna). Morganna bonded with my older son - and never really seemed to be happy here (she used to bite the hell outta Helena) - so she went to live with him in Michigan - where she is healthy, happy and fiesty as the day she was born. Ricky and Arte - are my only remaining originals. I still have them - and good news too. I was contacted by Petco today - regarding the "new kid" - that I had according to them "saved". I didn't look at it that way - but they sure did. C'm on - it was only a prolapsed, ahem....... anyways, they confirmed that the itty bitty boy was doing great and asked me if I wanted to adopt him. Wow. God in mysterious ways? I have to be honest here.......we brought Ricky in to see if they would "get along" and they bonded like super glue to our fingertips.......They said I was the one they wanted him to live with - and after his week regime of meds, and clearance from the vet are up (12/24) that we could pick him up. Am I ready for this? I don't know, honestly. But I can't say no - that is for sure.......but again, don't we all know how this works? Now I have a confession to make. I found a name that fit him to a tee, but one of you wonderful folk out there is already using it, so if it is ok with you, I would like to call him Vin Dweezil the 2nd. Petco also said that they ok'd us visiting, daily - so that he can "bond" with us - and make sure this is all a good fit. God help Vinny, tomorrow - he meets "Artemus", the albino sumu wrestler.......pra y for me that they like each other. Vinny will NEVER replace Helena, but having a baby around will surely take my attention away from the hurt and pain I am in now - and maybe make it easier somehow. I hope. Cause if I keep crying this way, my family will have me committed........ They say it takes a special kind of person - to be a ferret Mom and/or Dad. I am so lucky and blessed, to have found you all. You all have made me cry harder today, than I thought I could, but reminded me the one most important thing of all......Helena's death will NOT be in vain. And that us ferret folk? Well WE STICK TOGETHER. Through it all. God Bless each and everyone of you. I love you all - and I pray that none of you has to feel this pain again, anytime soon - but we all know how that goes too. There are too many of us to allow one perfect day, eh? Hey I want you all to know one last thing........ I have plans to meet with the vet that misdiagnosed Helena 3 times, tomorrow morning at 10:45 am. Then, I have another appointment with the Director for the VCA here, in ABQ, 2 hours later. They're really both, probably going to be sorry they agreed to these appointments, but my VOICE will be heard. And my HEART will be heard too. And if it is the last thing I do - I will make DAMN SURE that noone has to be in this situation, due to negligence, idiocy, or whatever else. I promise you ALL that. God Bless and keep you all, and thank you so very much. YOU ALL are why I come here, and plan to STAY here. I'll keep everyone posted, and CJ? I love you......*winks* Lord, help me to be grateful for what I have, and not greedy for what I want..... [Posted in FML issue 5097]