After losing my Drag and Slim Shady, my first paralyzed ferrets, I said I never want to go through that again, the pain of losing such special ferrets, but if I did I told my vet I hope its a female so we don't have so many issues with the urination problems. Soon after I received a called from a local Petco, a baby ferret was returned, the owners said they didn't want her anymore because she just stopped using her back legs. I'm sure she stopped using them because she was injured, but they didn't care, she was no longer "perfect". I went to the Petco to pick her up, bracing myself for the heartache of another paralyzed ferret, and all the while telling myself I would not get so emotionally attached, so when she passes away it won't hurt so much. They brought me to the groom shop where they had her in a cage there, I looked in and saw a beautiful little silver blaze face looking back at me. That was it, I already loved her. On the way home I talked to her, I told her she was going to be OK, and that I loved her and I would take care of her. I made a promise to her to make her life the best that it could ever be. All the time I was talking to her and driving, she was looking at me. Meadow has to be squeezed twice a day and given a bath twice a day,and her bedding changed twice a day. She was high maintenance, So I started calling her the princess, Chyna monkey was still alive at that time and she still reigned as queen so Meadow had to be the princess and it fit her. Meadow was named after a character on my favorite show the Sopranos, she is the daughter of a very wealthy mobster, a spoiled princess like my Meadow. It fit her to a tee. Over time our bond grew more and more each day. We talked every morning and night and when ever I was in my room, her cage was next to my bed. When I talked to her she would cock her head as if she understood my words. I would lay in bed at night and watch her lay on her back and play with her toys that hung from her cage, she would play until she fell asleep. I would watch her eyes start to close and her little paws slow down until she was finally asleep. I can't begin to even tell you how that felt, the feeling that came over me watching her go to sleep. Every morning I would wake and see her looking at me and if she could have talked she would have told me to get my butt out of bed and take care of her. The funny thing is, is that she did talk to me, with her eyes, her expressions, We had a communication that I have never had with any other ferret I had taken care of. Meadow and her story was know across the US, I never had a ferret that touched so many peoples lives like she did. She had a fan club of sorts, she received presents not only at Christmas but all throughout the year. It was a joke on how many presents she would get every year. If you met Meadow you fell in love with her, if you never met Meadow you fell in love with her, she was special in her own way. She was brave, smart, loving, and was dealt a rotton hand in life but never showed that it bothered her. She played with her friends, Godzilla, Annie Bones, Pez, (Annie and Pez both passed away this year), and all the other ferrets in her family. She never met a ferret she didn't like. Meadow loved carrying little stuffed toys and crochet eggs around the room to hide them. She was like the little sister to her ferret family and they all looked out for her and loved her very much. I could go on forever about Meadow, telling you all about her amazing life. but by now you get the pitcher on just how special she was. She was famous, she has been in Ferrets Magazine and was in the FML calander. She was a "star", she was my shining star. Last Monday, October 3rd, Meadow passed way, it was unexpected, and she passed in her sleep. It was peaceful. The pain I feel is tremendous, almost unbearable. There is an emptiness in my life that seems will never go away. At night I lay in bed and look up at her empty cage, and I miss her I really miss her. And sometimes out of the corner of my eye, I actually see her. I see her looking at me, waiting for me to take care of her. I want to thank everyone who has helped me make Meadow's life a little better, she loved being showered with gifts, a true princess life she had. A package came the day after she died, it was a box of goodies from a wonderful shelter friend Riza, it was for all the shelter ferrets, and of course Meadow was mentioned in the card. I haven't had the heart to really look through the box, not wanting to see things that Meadow would have loved. I'll never forget you Miss Meadow Soprano, I was blessed to have had you come into my life. I love you, Momma CJ 24 Carat Ferret Rescue And Shelter "where ferrets are treated like gold" [Posted in FML issue 5023]