I wanted to take a moment to thank all those who were recently impacted by my recent family tragedy. Marylou at Ferrets got my column weeks late and has been nothing but supportive--not even asking me for it even though her deadline is near. Notes and calls from Kim in Chicago meant a great deal even though I haven't yet responded to any of them. My two buds in Columbia who helped me out with my ferrets are owed a great deal. There were many other people involved that are not in the ferret community that I thank, but since none of you know them, I'll yet you guess their names. I hardly ever thank anyone on the FML by name (of course, I rarely mention ANYONE by name). There are two reasons why I don't, and neither is because I am unthankful. When you plant your feet and stick out your chin on controversial issues, a lot of people see you in a favorable light. If you are doing it right, some people will naturally see you negatively, and some of them project their dislike of me towards the people who help or otherwise support me. I figure that if I'm going to be a lightning rod, I might as well try to keep my friends from being electrocuted. The other reason is more personal. I'm a Quaker, and I think that if you give a gift that is kept quiet among the people involved, it becomes treasure in heaven. That is so part of my personal culture that I after I say thank-you, I never mention it again. But that should never be seen as being unappreciative or uncaring; I'm just trying to build your treasure. However, I've lately decided that I will change that policy. I have been doing a lot of travel lately, and the one complaint I hear most about the FML is the amount of bickering from some of the members. I can't speak for Bill, but I can say that is a normal attribute of a familial situation. You have to expect it, and I think you have to accept it. We are humans and that is what humans do. We don't poop in the corner-- we just spread our crap on whatever media is available to us. The problem is, complaints have more of an impact than the other stuff. A couple of complaints a week and I hear (while on the road) that the FML is full of bickering. So, maybe what we need is a few people who point out some of the good stuff. So, I'll be first today thanking Marylou and Kim and my buds: Thank you. It has been a hard week and a half, and I appreciate your understanding and compassion. You have helped me and made my life better. I also want to thank everyone who has sent emails in the last month for their patience and understanding. I will hunker down and answer them as soon as I can. I'll post more thank-yous shortly. Bob C [log in to unmask] [Posted in FML issue 4975]