Well, the first lesson has to be grammar and pronunciation for sure. It doesn't so much matter what you say, as how you say it. Sweet and dripping with sincerity. To quote my father, "If you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all." I'm not sure this is exactly what he meant, but it does seem to hold true. For example, there are all sorts of words one might use when one steps in a mislaid pile of poo with ones bare foot in the middle of the night. To be properly Southern, you must first start by saying, "Bless your little weezilly heart" followed by "if I find out who is randomly pooping in my path to the bathroom I will wring your sweet precious little neck." Also, you must get proper use of "y'all" down. (Please note the spelling too). For example, "You" is singular. "Okay, now Sparky. You better get your fuzzie little butt out of my shower and quit licking me on the ankle! You are not trustworthy!!" "Y'all" is plural. "Alright now. Y'all better get out of this shower and quit licking me on the ankle because I know y'all. If anyone bites me...!!!!" "All y'all" is more plural. "If all y'all don't get outta this shower right now and quit chomping me on the ankle I swear you will never get another weezilly treat ever again EVER!!!!!" Hmmm... tomorrow perhaps we'll cover deportment and decorum. Bless y'all's hearts! [Posted in FML issue 4930]