You know you are a ferret owner when you have a ferret pee on you, but you know you are a ferreter when you don't change your shirt. You know you are a ferret owner when you pick up a ferret's wet poop, but you know you are a ferreter when you wait until it is dry and do it without tissue. You know you are a ferret owner when you fed your ferret meat, but you know you are a ferreter when you give it to them alive. You know you are a ferret owner when you dress your ferret in doll clothes, but you know you are a ferreter when you dress yourself to match. You know you are a ferret owner when you warn children to not poke their fingers in the ferret cage, but you know you are a ferreter when you bite the children's fingers to make them stop. You know you are a ferret owner when you buy one ferret care book, but you know you are a ferreter when you buy all ferret veterinary books. You know you are a ferret owner when you stumble on the FML, but you know you are a ferreter when you know what the "I" in B-I-G stands for. You know you are a ferret owner when you worry about poop in the corners, but you know you are a ferreter when you stop caring about your corners. You know you are a ferret owner when you worry about giving your ferret good food, but you know you are a ferreter when you shout at a poor little stressed zoo keeper who accidentally blurted "carrots" when asked about their ferret's diet. You know you are a ferret owner when you notice your ferret changes color seasonally, but you know you are a ferreter when you start placing cash bets on which one will be darker. You know you are a ferret owner when you place the cage by your bed so they can sleep near you, but you know you are a ferreter when you open the cage and roll back the covers. You know you are a ferret owner when you give your ferret chicken baby food and worry about the drips, but you know you are a ferreter when you grind up a chicken to make Bob's Chicken Gravy and don't worry about the splashes. You know you are a ferret owner when you kiss your little ferret's cute little navel, but you know you are a ferreter when you know thats a bad boy not to be kissed. You know you are a ferret owner when you go to the pet store to see a ferret, but you know you are a ferreter when you go to a movie to see a ferret. You know you are a ferret owner when you search eBay for essential ferret supplies, but you know you are a ferreter when you get in bidding wars over ANYTHING with even a remote chance of having a ferret likeness stamped on it. You know you are a ferret owner when you buy raisins for your ferret, but you know you are a ferreter when you stop. You know you are a ferret owner when you attend a ferret club meeting, but you know you are a ferreter when you volunteer at the local shelter. You know you are a ferret owner when you read stuff from ferret experts and consider them wonderful, but you know you are a ferreter when you see those experts drinking all night at the symposium and you still consider them wonderful. You know you are a ferret owner when you giggle when your ferret farts on you, but you know you are a ferreter when you giggle when you fart on your ferret. You know you are a ferret owner when you recognize how a ferret smells, but you know you are a ferreter when you recognize it and ask the person to marry you. You know you are a ferret owner when you own Jeanne Carley's ferret calendar, but you know you are a ferreter when you have ALL of them, plus any other ferret calendar you happen to see. You know you are a ferret owner when you giggle when you find your ferret sleeping in your clean underwear drawer, but you know you are a ferreter when you giggle when you find your ferret sleeping in the dirty underwear on the floor. You know you are a ferret owner when you fed your ferret a variety of foods, but you know you are a ferreter when you've sampled them all. You know you are a ferret owner when your heart breaks so much when your ferret dies that you don't want another one, but you know you are a ferreter when your heart breaks so much when your ferret dies that you get two more. You know you are a ferret owner when you tell amusing ferret anecdotes, but you know you are a ferreter when you tell amusing ferret owner anecdotes. Bob C [log in to unmask] "As soon as I get home I'm going to put up my feet and forget all about my ferrets for at least a week." Overheard on the St. Louis Ferret Symposium zoo bus, 2005, name withheld to protect the tired, and yes, you saw me jotting it down. [Posted in FML issue 4883]