Alexandra, YES! Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes! I agree. There are ways to document and tackle actual problems (Anne Ryan once again gave that important info for NJ just the other day.) and there are ways to improve legislation. There isn't much of anything achieved by just griping (no matter what the topic or side of the topic is); in fact, it can backfire because people get tired of reading the same things over and over and just skim past the topic after a while. BUT YOU MENTIONED THE MOST IMPORTANT THING -- that some people take the conversation away from constructive realms when they behave as if any opinion which is different from their stance must be wrong, uncaring, etc. when the reality just doesn't mesh with that snottiness. Different people simply DO have different experiences and different information sets they are processing, and could also be weighing the same things differently while being just as moral, loving, and ferret oriented as the other side is. It seems like a little more listening may be in order for some. Personally, I really worry about people who want their opinions to just be accepted as correct without question, who belittle those with different stances, or who shade things too much (like when someone treats griping as if it were doing, or pretends to have a background that doesn't exist, or ignores the other side of an argument, or...) Yeah, I know, now I am griping! LOL! Anyway, the only way to build a strong case IS to look at each side, to pay very careful attention to arguments that disagree because some could just plain be right, to not belittle, to be careful, and to keep an open mind for so many of life's realities which happen to just not fit within someone's preferred construct. Meanwhile, readers have an obligation to themselves to NOT treat what they read as if it must be *** the truth, *** the whole truth, and *** nothing but the truth. Usually the first happens. The second is danged hard to achieve and most disagreements here simply are people filling in other parts of the whole truth, which get reactions from people who would rather ignore parts of the whole truth. The third can be lost here or there for an assortment of reasons, from misdirection, to difficulty communicating or difficulty listening, to vocabulary differences, to... So, readers owe themselves a grain of salt no matter who they are reading. So, accept disagreement: it is usually just people filling in missing parts of the Whole Truth, and to most constructively tackle anything those parts need to known and understood even if they are not liked. [Posted in FML issue 4827]