Condolences to those with lost, sick, or angeled silverware stashers... (I got a fork! Now my wedding collection is complete! Ok, so it's only a 'plastic' fork, but it's still a fork!) Here is *my* take on ferret colors and health. Remember, I ain't no doctor, so this stuff probably doesn't mean a whole lot. However, folks in the Smokey Mountains (those with no phones, internet, or even actually schools!) think my ideas are pretty good! :) If your ferret is bright purple, something is seriously wrong. Go check the grape jell-o package in the cabinet. If your ferret is a grayish-green, they need to get more exercise, as they are starting to mold in place, like a sloth. If your ferret has a bright red, blue or suddenly black face, find the pen they've been chewing on and throw it in a trash can that they can't get it back out from. If your ferret is pooping red, green, blue and burnt umber, hide the crayons. If your ferret spits bubbles when she talks, hide the bath soap. If your ferret seem to have a bright, filmy glow about them, find out their name and give them the CORRECT address to go visit their lost family. Them angel ferrets can't read maps worth a darn! If your ferret is half blue and half green, or if they have red-and-purple racing stripes, or they are orange all over and have stickers everywhere, they've been watching far too much NASCAR and they found your children's finger paints. Act accordingly. If you have a ferret named Switch and another one named Lily, run. Fast. And take the spark plug out of the tractor on the way by, so they can't chase you quite as fast! Oh, and take your loving hedgehog with you. You certainly don't want to leave it to any fate the ferrets might have for it! --- Todd and the Fuzzbutt Rodeo Clowns mailto:[log in to unmask] http://www.netconex.com/toddl/page2/ [Posted in FML issue 4801]