Flawless light in a darkening air,alone and shining there".... (love is ) Simple Doodlebug passed away last night in my arms.He crossed quietly,gently and without much notice,like he lived his life. He was old,his poor body broken down and in pain.I was relieved when he passed but i cryed and will miss him for a long time. Doodlebug taught me that all life is sacred and not without some purpose, even a fleeting purpose. i know you are supposed to learn that in church or school or from a book or some human you love, but I learned it from Doodlebug. Go figure. Doodlebug was someone elses' garbage, throw away and burden,but he was my friend and delight. What someone else left in the trash in an empty apartment was my best treasure. He was already old when he came to me.He was quiet,serious,deaf and had cataracts,bad teeth,bad health ,itchy tumors,and was a worried loner. He wagged his tail for for a bowl of cream,got all revved up about prized napping spots and made all sorts of loud noises,moans ,groans and sighs he never realized he was making. He did not like or trust a lot of others,kinda like me these days, but was willing to give it all another go around in his live and let live style...kinda like me these days. There were times in his last few weeks that he fought hard for his life. He wanted his life and to live it well. I realized that doodlebug's life was as important to doodlebug as mine is to me and yours is to you.There was really no difference in the will to live and to live it well. Doodlebug did live it well and was well loved because he was so content with his small comforts,dignity,those who cared for him and his space. He was never overly territorial about any of it figuring there was enough to go around. He did'nt demand a whole lot.he was happy for his food and comfort and to go about his small bit of bussiness every day. I was thinking that perhaps in light of current ( and past and ongoing) world madness,violence and tragedy everyone should have a little doodlebug.A little comfort and dignity go a long way. Someone once told me that doodlebug always seemed to be on an important mission,some mysterious quest when he tooled around the house, a mission only he knew he was on.. i let him have his ongoing secret missions although sometimes he was pesty and stubborn about the spot he wanted to have them in..like the bathtub. I woke him up a lot from his unending naps to manhandle him with hugs and kisses.Like a kid his eyes seemed to say "cut the crap",but I knew he really liked it. In the end he asked for it constantly..that i should stay and stroke behind his ears and wrap him in a t-shirt and keep him on my lap. I talked to him all the time even though he was deaf.I sang the "No one is home in Doodlebug -land" song to him once in a while when he was being silly.. and when no one else was around to see me act like a fool.. He was grateful for these things,i could tell, becasue he knew what it was to live without them. We had both been lost causes at certain points in life and had both found redemption and a soft place to land.I was happy to be Doodlebug's soft place to land. It was an honor and a privledge to share time and life with him as we both made our way to whatever homes we would find ourselves in. Christine [Posted in FML issue 4755]