I recently made the decision to have our vet help Golden and Lissey leave this realm. It is always a difficult decision but even moreso when the mind is willing to continue even when the body isn't. I struggled with this decision for a time. Golden came to us when we took a trip to Nebraska to pick up two of the Utah boys, Ulysses and Spartan, due to their person's life changes. On the way back from Nebraska we stopped at a convenience store to get ice and the attendant noticed my ferret shirt. He said his sister had a ferret she needed to find a home for and so we met with her and Golden joined our family. That was in 1998 and Golden was 2.5 yrs old at that time. For some time now, Golden wasn't able to use her back. She could get around by pulling with her front legs and pushing with her back legs but couldn't lift her abdomen at all. She was unable to urinate on her own so I assisted by expressing her bladder. I layed bed pads under her to keep her dry in case she leaked. She was blind and 75% hairless. Golden made little noises when she'd try to get comfortable after her meals and when she'd go to the bathroom. When I'd hold her she would eat her recipe well. Golden was mentally alert which made my decision even more difficult. Lissey shared the bathroom with Golden. Lissey came to us in 1998, a young adult at that time. Lissey had insulinoma which almost stole her from us several months earlier. Lissey had abdominal growths and a thickened bladder - she wasn't considered a surgical candidate. Lissey bumped up her blankets with extreme frustration when trying to get comfortable. She whined when she went to the bathroom. Lissey too was mentally alert... At their last vet visit neither showed any interest in the new environment. They wanted to curl up and sleep. They peacefully cuddled in my arms as the sedative took affect and when the final injection was given, that is how they left this realm, held lovingly in my arms. I made the decision to have our vet help the girls leave. I struggled with it, I struggle now. I know both girls would have continued on for some time. They were showing signs of pain and I didn't want them to suffer. For me, I made the decision too soon, but it is done and there is no turning back. Euthanasia is a very difficult decision. Sometimes we know it needs to be done, other times we have doubts. From personal experience, I know when I struggle with a decision it will haunt me for a very long time. In memory of the girls, please spend extra loving time with your little ones. hugs to all. tle Troy Lynn Eckart, F.B.S. Ferret Family Services http://www.ferretfamilyservices.org http://www-personal.ksu.edu/~sprite/ffs.html http://www.geocities.com/Petsburgh/Haven/5481/ Please sign up to support our efforts http://www.iGive.com/FFS [Posted in FML issue 4491]