I wanted to share this true story with all of you. A Weasel Halloween On Halloween day, I sent a friend an email to cancel a meeting with her to to a comedy club and see her brother perform the next evening. Basically I told her I was disgusted and didn't want to be around people. I even unplugged my phone because I didn't even want to hear anyone's voice (one person's in particular). I tried reading, but though it was afternoon, I kept dosing off. I finally gave in and decided to put my newspaper down and go to sleep. A while after, I hear a very loud banging on my apartment door, like it was being knocked on with some kind of hard object. I thought it was one of my crazy friends, but when I asked who it was a deep voice said, "New York City Police." So I opened the door. I should have looked out the peep-hole first, but I was half asleep. Standing before me were four big, and I mean big, cops. I had no idea what was going on. They said they got a call from a friend of mine in N.J. who was worried about me. I just looked at them puzzled saying, "New Jersey??" The one friend I have in NJ, I hadn't seen or spoken to in months. I invited the officers in because I didn't want the neighbors to think I was some kind of criminal. I sat on the sofa while they questioned me about what I did today and asked what I told my friend. "Oh, the usual," I said. "This friend is in New Jersey?" "No, Woodstock." "Woodstock???" he said. Everyone was confused. "We got a call from someone in New Jersey." "Was it a man or a woman," I asked. "We don't know. We're trying to find out who it was, " the cop answered. Soon they realized that they didn't need four cops to question a sleepy small woman, who seemed perfectly fine. "We're gonna go," one said, as two of them proceeded to leave. When they opened my apartment door, one jumped and yelled, "What the hell was that!!!" I couldn't see what was going on. "Don't let it out!" the other cop said, Just as the cop who jumped said, "I thought it was a rat," I saw Rocky scurry out of the opened door. In my stupor I had forgotten that Rocky was sleeping in the bathroom, or I would've closed the door, since ferrets are still illegal aliens. I grabbed Rocky just as he was running out the door, following the cop, and tossed him into the bathroom and closed the door. One of the two remaining cops asked, "Is that a ferret?" I shuddered with fear as I answered, "Yeah." Then much to my surprise, he said, "Do they make good pets?" "Yes, they do." "Are they good with kids?" "Yeah, they're great with kids." "He scared my partner." The other cop asked if he could look in my bedroom. I said, "Sure," assuming he was looking for signs of an empty bottle of pills, some fresh razor blades or a noose hanging from the ceiling. He walked back into the livingroom and just shook his head to the other cop. As they walked out, the cop who was interested in ferrets asked if I was going trick-or-treating. "I don't think so. My trick-or-treating days are over." "Oh, you should come to the parade," he said. "It's a lot of fun." After they left, I checked my caller ID to find a million calls from the friend I emailed, who was in Connecticut for the weekend. She had called 911, thinking that since I wasn't answering my phone and there was no message, I must be busy trying to kill myself. Leave it to a ferret to supply comic relief to any situation! I am still amused that little two-pound Rocky scared a couple of big cops. But Rocky was not amused. "Rat? How dare he think I was a rodent! I eat those things for breakfast." "Oh Rocky," I said, "don't be too insulted. It is Halloween after all." The next day, Rocky and I imagined our story in the New York Post. "WEASEL SCARES NYPD BLUE IN GREENWICH VILLAGE." [Posted in FML issue 4333]