It's with a heavy heart that I have to write that Petey was helped to the bridge today. The past couple of days were tough on Pete. He lost the use of his hind legs and it was apparent to me this morning that he was in a lot of pain. He wouldn't eat or drink. He had that look that I've heard so many of you refer to when it is just time to let go. This morning it was time. The light in his beautiful dark eyes was fading fast, and he was panting. Pete was only 4 years old. He was a complete impulse buy when he was only a few weeks old. I had gone into a Petco in Shrewsbury, MA to buy food for my guys when I saw the most beautiful dark-eyed white kit ever wrestling with one of his cagemates. I had to have him. I was on my lunch break and the store wouldn't hold him for me. He came home and quickly became part of the crew. He was a biter though. Through time and lots of kisses he became a sweetheart. He still would bite from time to time and he wasn't too fond of certain boyfriends, but he was still my angel boy. The vacuum cleaner scared him tremendously. When I first found out he had lymphoma about six weeks ago, I made sure to not run the vacuum around him. My carpet is a mess right now. It's full of ferret kibble crumbs, but I don't care. The ride to the vet this morning was so hard. He was suffering so much that I have to admit that I couldn't wait for him to be out of that pain despite the feeling I had to just take him and start running. Where the hell would I run to anyways? The vet took him out back and came back up front to where I was bawling to tell me it was done. He was so great. He told me I had done the right thing and it really was time. I don't doubt this in the least. Two ladies that were waiting for their dogs came over to comfort me. Then I went back to see Pete. It just looked like he was sleeping. Our vet said he didn't fight it. I kissed his limp little body good-bye for the last time. Then I remembered as he sat in my lap for the last time this morning while reading the FML how he weakly reached up to kiss my nose. I guess we said good-bye in our own ways. I sang to him. It kept him calm when he was feeling crappy. He loved lullabys and also the first song on Sade's Lover's Rock album. I don't remember the name of it. Interestingly enough I have been dreaming a lot about CJ, my first ferret who passed from adrenal complications in May. I'd like to think that he was coming back to take Pete with him. In time this pain will fade and the tears will run dry. My little sweetheart -gone at 4 years old. Sadly, just us girls now, Jennifer, Cindy, & Monsoon Missing Pete & CJ "Hush little baby, don't say a word. Momma's gonna buy you a mockingbird..." [Posted in FML issue 4287]