I know exactly how you feel. A couple months ago, my very first ferret Kodi died very suddenly. He had been sick with Adrenal, but one day he appeared to be paralyzed and could not walk, and it just went downhill from there. By the night of the next day he was gone. He died peacefully in my moms arms. He was my baby boy, and I miss him greatly. I feel guilt about not noticing something sooner... I always wonder if other little things had happened that I just had not noticed that couldve hinted that it was going to happen. I feel the most guilt for not being there when he died. He got sick on a Thursday afternoon and all night he layed in my arms, and I fell asleep with him on my chest... he stayed there all night. The next day I took him to work with me and kept a constant watch on him, and let him know I was there. However, by that night (Friday) I was just so upset I needed a break, so I went to my boyfriends house for a couple hours. I told Kodi I loved him before I left, and when I got home later that night my mom told me he had died a hour before. I know he knew that I loved him, but I also know that I should have been there. I realize now that although I just needed a break because it was so stressed out, I should have stayed with him. I didnt know it would take him so quickly as he had seemed like he was doing better. I feel guilt EVERY DAY about not being there with him when he went, and I know that guilt will never go away. Missing my little man, Barbara and the crazies- Hope, Ziggy, and Duke [Posted in FML issue 4310]