Hello Everyone, I haven't posted in a long time, since before may. A lot of people wrote me about my ferret Taz-arina having a second surgery for an adrenal tumor. I received lost of information on medication, and lots of just great advice. Taz had the second surgery in May; however the doctors couldn't find the tumor, or the adrenal gland itself. The doctor said the tumor may have taken over the funtion of the gland and the gland may have shrunk. My husband and I had decided no more opperations. Taz had gone through enough. We thought we would have at least a year with her. Taz became irrated as time went on. She only wanted to go outside for walks. I figured she was looking for a male ferret. My husband and I would alternate walks. We took her for 4 walks a day. Taz also became more aggressive towards our other female ferret Jezzy. Jezzy would cry when Taz would come near, so we had to keep them in separate cages when we were at work. Jezzy doesn't defend herself well, and she shouldn't have to. This weekend I noticed when Taz would scratch herself I would see red sores under her skin. I read that a ferrets skin can get aggitated when they have an adrenal tumor, and I thought that is what it was. When we got home from a trip to NY I called the vet because Taz wasn't herself. She was sleeping too much, and she seemed off balance. I also noticed she had black, tar like poop. I knew she was bleeding internally. The vet said she could have a bleeding ulcer because of all the stress she was under, and she would call in some meds to my pharmacy. Today, she was still not herself, so I took her in. The vet said it was either poison, or her blood wasn't clotting due to either the tumor being cancerous and spreading or something else. I know it wasn't poison. Taz only eats ferret food, or chicken baby food. She doesn't like any ferret treats, or human food. She told me to take Taz to UPenn. I asked her what they would do to her. When she started listing all the procedures: transfusions, bloodwork, surgery, and there wasn't a gurantee because she was so weak, I made the most heart renching decision I have ever had to make. I decided to put her to sleep. I wanted someone who loved my pet as much as I did to put her to sleep. I didn't want it to be in some cold hospital, w/ a doctor none of us knew. Taz was my first pet since I was 5 yrs old. I am 30 now, and she has been w/ me for 5 yrs. We got Jezzy two months after Taz, so she could have company when we were at work. I didn't want to put Taz through anything else. She wasn't really enjoying life. She would sit at the apt door waiting to be taken out. She would sit there for hours, eat, poop, and go back to the door. If it rained my husband and I felt terrible, because we didn't want to take her out in the weather, and she would really suffer. She would sigh, and plop down on the rug, or dig at it to get out. She wouldn't play w/ any of us includding Jezzy. My husband and I took her outside the vet's office and sat w/ her on a bench near a pond. She loves outside, and I wanted that to be one of her last memories. My husband sat in the car and cried, while I took her back inside. We have been together as a couple or 8 yrs. I have never seen him cry like that. I stayed w/Taz. I sang to her, held her, and pet her until the end. Now I need help. I have been on tons of websites, and I cant find an urn I like. Personally, I think most of the ferret ones are ugly. The ferret figure they put on top looks more like an otter than a ferret. If anyone knows of a website, or a place in New Jersey where I can get something nice (what is really nice about it I don't know) please let me know. You can post if or email me. Taz was beautiful, and yes all parrents think there child/pet is the best. I can't lay her to rest in something I don't think fits her. In all the years (about 5) I have gotten the FML I always skip the posts about people who have lost their pets. I would cry too much. Now I wish I had read them. Maybe someone needed advice like I do, or just to talk. Anyway, it might have helped me see what I would be going through. Sorry for writing a book. I really have no one else to talk to. No one sees my pets as valid, so they won't understand my grief. If I had lost a dog or cat, they would understand more than a rodent (I have explained till I am blue in the face that they are not rodents) Jezzy keeps looking for Taz, and it is killing me. I want to get another ferret, but my husband said no. He cant take it. Should I leave Taz's blanket for Jezzy, or should I pack away the stuff so she can't smell her? I don't know what would be best. I don't know how she is going to deal w/ being the only ferret in the family. Please give me some advice on how to help Jezzy through this. Thank you for your continued help over the years. Kalaine Tarantelli [Posted in FML issue 4265]