Dear Ferret Folks- I like cats. I like most cats more than I like most people, actually. Well, anyway, that's how I feel after spending the weekend at the town fair. (Saw a ferret on a leash!) Imagine rides, cotton candy, petting zoo, and fireworks. Imagine the father of the little kid who backhanded (his?) boy (whose head was not yet up to my waist) for wanting some fudge from the Girl Scout's booth. Not jumping, whining, screaming, or lying on the ground drumming his feet...just ASKING for some fudge. WHAP!! The little kid jacknifed at the waist, put his face in his hands and just wailed one singe, quavering note that blew my heart into little bits, like soul-shrapnel. I thought about feral cats, I thought about feral people. Imagine the kid (maybe ten) who loudly denounced his mother as a "*ITCH!" when she only gave him a twenty dollar bill for ride tickets. He shouted "You haven't bought me ANYTHING I wanted!" I wanted to see him go ask that little kid's Dad for some fudge, actually. I thought about feral cats, I thought about feral people. Imagine this loser named Jimmy who came up to to us at the tractor pull (yes, think 1949 John Deere green and yellow tractor) to ask us if we had seen his eight year old boy anywhere? Well, no. Not in hours. Last seen with his teenaged sister several hours ago. Turns out Jimmy got tired and without even talking to us, or attempting to find the little kid and the sister first, just went to his car and took a nap. Well, he was tired, right? His justification? "Well, I assumed you guys would watch him." Jimmy has brought three children into this world. He has neither raised nor financially supported a single one of them. When the oldest girl was a kid, she just told people that her father was dead. Only wishful thinking on her part. (The little boy turned up just fine a short time later. He had been with a responsible adult after all. His fourteen year old sister, who has largely been responsible for raising him.) I think about feral cats, I think about feral people. They look like us, they talk like us, they can even breed with us. They have many, many litters. But if anyone out there wants to form a group to remove feral people from the streets to be neutered and released, hell, I'll send you a check. (Why didn't I slip the little kid some fudge? Because I was afraid. I sort of hate me right now for that.) This Off-Topic Rant brought to you by- Alexandra in Massachusetts (Hug your kids tonight, those with two feet or four.) [Posted in FML issue 4264]