First of all, my sympathy to you, Anjie, on the loss of Itty-Bitty. The pain we feel upon the loss of our pets is very real, normal, and healthy. Don't let anyone tell you not to feel it. However, just based on your short email, I'm not so sure you are to blame, here. Just being trapped under a desk for an hour or two (or even 10) wouldn't cause anyone to die. Unless she 1) chewed the electrical wires and was electrocuted, 2) got her neck stuck when she was trying to get out and got strangled, or 3) sustained internal injuries from squeezing under, or 4) was crushed by the moving desk when you were looking for her, or 5) found a little piece of who-knows-what under your desk to chew and choked, then it seems possible to me that she may have just happened to die in the wrong place. Yes, no normal household room is ever completely ferret-proof, and yes, we all know of the dangers ferrets face and of their skill at finding said dangers, but even if her death was caused by one of the above scenarios, you need to let go of the guilt and focus on the healing. Guilt is a normal reaction, but I'd like to tell you that guilt should be saved for the guilty. Di Bachman should feel guilt. The woman in Utah, Jen Morrison, should feel guilt. People who purposefully neglect, endanger, and abuse people and animals should feel guilt. People who accidentally cause the death of an animal should only feel regret and sorrow. Let me repeat: Abusers are GUILTY. They should be punished for their actions, and they should be socially ostracized. You are not "guilty," what you did or didn't do is regrettable. If you could do it over again differently, you would. You are not an abusive, neglectful, or otherwise bad caretaker. Take care, Chana [Posted in FML issue 4233]