The past 12 months has been hectic for many reasons but mostly because of sick ferrets. Easter gave me a chance to reflect upon the time... First we lost Bella who suddenly got ill and die in recovery after surgery... She had lymphoma of the stomach. A dear sweet, old gal, who slept with us every night. The bed, although filled with new fuzzy bodies, has never been the same without seeing her wash up before sleep followed by a quick gnat nip on our hands with useless and nearly worn to the root canines... the same canines that took her hours to devour her daily mouse treat. A month later, we lost Bella's new friend, Lace. Another old gal, and feisty for an 11 year old, she hung on until fibrosarcoma, a mouth cancer took her from us... Her squeaks and squeals when fighting over a piece of red licorice will forever be burned into my mind. She had the strength of males that were twice her age, and a spirit that filled out home with joy every day... In August we lost Ping, one of the youngest losses we have had. At 4, she was found to have an intestinal tumor that was inoperable. With her gone, there is no other ferret who answered to her name better by hissing at us when ever we called her... And the house is definitely quieter with her not around. Morning bounces on the bed with Mushu have been replaced by two others, but the girls' daily morning wrestling ritual was far more lady like. Just days apart, Zsa-Zsa's tiny little white body was found... she had gone in her sleep. Although we always would tell ourselves that them going in their sleep was better than having to make the decision of euthanization, her death left us with many unanswered questions that would never give us resolution. A small, unassuming ferret, she fit in where she could and lived out her life in ferrety style. Christmas marked the end of a very long struggle with cutaneous lymphosarcoma and with a boy who fought the odds and lived through countless surgeries and treatments. Spaz will forever be remembered for his courage, his strength and his ability to go with the flow. The house is very quiet without his bird like chirps and squeaks. Our little naked mole man... Two weeks later ended our time being caregivers to our only ever guinea pig, Squirt. He too died in his sleep. We have no idea how old he was. It is yet another reminder of how quiet the house is with no squeals echoing throughout each time the refrigerator door opened. The ferrets tried to make him one of their own but I don't think he really wanted to be a ferret. And last month, we lost Gadget... he went in for adrenal surgery in January and recovered but something else took over. He went down hill quickly and our albino watchdog, our keeper of the front door, our cuddle man couldn't fight what eventually took him... We miss his sweet face always greeting us at the door when we came home. It did not matter what time of day or night... he always made an appearance. Each one had their fight. Each one of them had us in their corner. Each one made a difference in our lives. Each one left a hole in our hearts... We live with 18 of our own ferrets now and 2 fosters and it is hard to imagine a home quiet with so many. It is hard to understand the feeling of emptiness when one of these precious souls leaves our earthly shores... It's hard to imagine the quiet when there is a house filled with the rough and tumble of ferrets trying to get the better of one another. But those sounds are different from the sounds of days past. It's akin to hearing certain people's voices and speech rhythm and then suddenly not hearing them anymore.... that's what it's like.... losing a friend. We did what we could for each of them as we did for those that went before and those that will go in the future. Each struggle unique and independent of the others. Each one precious. Each one a story to tell and a book to be written. This is our family and although each story will end with a broken heart, filled with sorrow and sadness, there will come a time when their memories give joy to the heart and replenish the soul... I raise a glass to them all... past, present, future. And my heart fills with joy... betty and her blur o'fur for the love of ferrets... [Posted in FML issue 4126]