Part 1 [combined with part 2] I've had a very difficult time keeping up with e-mail due to health issues combined with working full-time, being a relatively new mom, caring for 100 critters, writing, running a non-profit biz, and doing humane education programs. I try to scan the FML every morning when I get to work, because I can get more personal work done there as opposed to at home......like writing this post. The FML teaches me a lot, not just about ferrets, but about people too. People, myself included, can be downright obnoxious and irrational at times. I have to hold my tongue while glimpsing through some topics, such as the Valerie/military rejection thread. I'm guilty of having strong opinions about some things, and while intellectually I know that rarely is an issue black and white, emotionally I've had a tendency to be a bit stubborn in my own views at times. This, of course, is why I'm poking my head in the FML door today. For the record, before I jump on my "other" soapbox, I want to say that I admire Valerie. I do not know her personally, but if I were to take her at face value, I would have to say she is not only a wonderful person, but also a caring and responsible ferret mom. I'd first want to know more about her to confirm my initial beliefs, but I don't think I would hesitate to adopt ferrets to her if the opportunity presented itself. (I will never get over how some things get so twisted and blown up). I think the age threads were a result of the Valerie thread. I could be wrong, but they pushed my buttons either way. To categorize a certain age group or "family status" as being one way or another is simply wrong IMO. I've been an animal lover my entire life despite the fact that the family who raised me truly disliked pets. I had to confine my animal "hobby" to the outdoors. By the time I was 10 years old I had a thriving and HEALTHY colony of feral cats that I cared for (folks did help when I insisted that vet care was needed). I was a successful rabbit breeder and had written my first book (albeit unpublished) on rabbit care. All throughout grade school I cared for 30 or so animals at any given time: cats, rabbits, small rodents, birds, snakes, AND I successfully rehabbed wildlife. I have lived and breathed animals for about 30 of my almost 36 years of life. I now do quite a bit of rescue and a whole lot of humane education programs. The most frustrating animal situations I've encountered have involved ADULT humans. I've seen animals brought in by parents because a kid got a bad grade. Now THAT'S a scary lesson for a kid! I have yet to hear of a collector who is under the age of 30. I have seen great abuse carried out by adults. My point is that IMO age should be weighed less than the demonstrated ability and knowledge of a person. I was just 21 when I adopted my very first ferret (Thank you, Norm - GCFA). I'd been living on my own since 19, made a very modest salary and struggled to keep my little condo. My ferrets managed to come first, as did my other animals. And my son Sam, who is just 13 months old now, has both seen and demonstrated great respect for and gentleness with the animals I allow him to interact with. People are amazed at his way with animals. Despite this how many shelters would refuse to adopt to me simply because of the age of my son? There are many families out there with teenagers whom I would turn away! I have also turned away teenagers NOT because of their own age, but because of the immaturity, ignorance and poor attitude of their adult parents. And what about all those pets given up to shelters because a new human baby entered the picture? Should shelters consider excluding potential adopters that are of childbearing age? What about people whose jobs may require relocations? Or people who may have to suddenly and without warning devote all of their time and money to a sick family member? (You can utilize a medical history form from your doctor for use during screening). Also, don't forget to exclude anyone who's in the military reserves especially since war seems inevitable these days. Who knows? Maybe we'll even see another draft in our lifetime, so count out any potential adopters who would be eligible for that. I mean, come on! I don't even want to broach the subject of kids heading off to college..... Part 2 It is always in the best interest of the animal to seek out that perfect forever home, but no one has the power to predict what the outcome will be based on the age of the adopter. Use the tools you have. Use your gut instinct. Research and do the necessary legwork, but don't discriminate. By doing so, shelters and rescuers are turning away wonderful homes. I've been more disgusted with people my own age than with people much younger than myself. Potential adopters should be evaluated on an individual basis. Meet their kids. Learn about who they are as people and as families. Then make an educated decision either to adopt or not to adopt. Many shelters might respond that they don't have time for all that personal nonsense! They have ferrets to care for! Well, isn't that sort of a Catch-22? More like a squirrel chasing its tail? I believe that if you don't have the time to properly and fairly screen potential adopters, then you don't have the time to efficiently and effectively operate a rescue/shelter. I'm speaking of individuals seeking potential adopters as well. In concluding my long boring diatribe, I wanted to relay a wonderful story about a young girl who adopted from me. I had 2 ferrets named Lenny and Squiggy who were abandoned at the clinic because the owner couldn't care for them any longer. Lenny obviously had adrenal problems, so I had the surgery done right away. He recovered nicely, but never quite looked like the handsome ferret he once was. In fact, he was sort of scary looking. I had a few potential adopters for Squiggy, but I didn't want to separate them. So they remained with me for what seemed like a lifetime. Squiggy was a great educational ferret, so I'd bring the two of them to programs. I met a young girl named Laura at a school program one day. She was just 9 years old. Laura was fixated on Lenny and asked why he looked so different from Squiggy. After talking with her a bit I learned that her dog had just recently been hit by a car (let out accidentally by her FATHER). Her parents would not allow her to get another dog. I saw a little of me in her, patted her on the back and said goodbye as she skipped away with one of my flyers. In my hectic world, I forgot all about her until several days later when the phone rang. A little voice on the phone asked how Lenny the ferret was. It was Laura. We spoke for a few minutes and then she asked if Lenny was up for adoption. My reflex was to say no, but instead I told her I wasn't sure and that I'd have to speak with her mom or dad. She said ok in a sad quiet voice and we hung up. A couple of days later I received a phone call from Laura's father who said she hadn't been able to stop talking about them. He scheduled a time to bring her to visit the ferrets. The visit was extremely revealing and rewarding. What I saw were a father and daughter who were deeply connected and a little girl who handled herself with great dignity and maturity (for a 9 year old). She interacted with Lenny and Squiggy well. She was gentle and caring and almost instantly devoted to them. And the ferrets were equally comfortable with Laura. The visit lasted about 2 hours. Both Laura and her father knew that Lenny had some special needs, yet they insisted they would properly tend to both ferrets. I felt really good about the adoption, so I let them go. Laura kept in constant touch with me, asking questions and updating me on her ferrets' latest antics. A year passed and Laura called to let me know Lenny was sick and needed hand feeding. The vet had shown her how to do it. Despite her sadness, there was a sense of pride in her voice when she told me how she'd prepare his food and feed him before school, then right after school, and immediately before bedtime. She was concerned that Squiggy would be sad and lonely if Lenny died. After talking to both her and her father, they scheduled another visit and brought both ferrets along. Despite Lenny's deteriorating health, both ferrets looked happy and well-cared for. I had a lonely little female ferret name Kayla that needed a new home. She was young, but was rather laid back and calm. Kayla and Squiggy hit it off right away. Kayla was very passive and gentle with Lenny as well. Kayla went home with them and Lenny passed away during surgery about 2 months later. That was about 5 years ago. I still keep in contact with Laura and she still has ferrets, except now she has 5 of them including Squiggy and Kayla. She is now 16 years old and knows a whole lot about ferrets and the meaning of lifelong commitment. She is a lucky young girl and I was equally lucky to find her. Kim S Author, Ferrets for Dummies Director, Animals for Awareness [Posted in FML issue 4079]