I realize that when you find out that your ferret is deaf for the first time, it can be a pretty surprising thing. I've got to tell you that there are definitely some stages that people seem to go through. Some common feelings experienced by others are: Denial - This can be demonstrated in many ways, but the most common expression, is to keep testing your ferret. You might find yourself continually going up behind your ferret clapping your hands, banging things, squeaking things, etc.. And really this is a good kind of denial. Because this way you are sure to know that the tests are positive and that nobody has made a mistake. Also it's helpful in getting it "through your head that yes, your animal is deaf". This is good because you can move on after this. There are more unhealthy forms of denial. A good example would be if one acted like they didn't care. The person is like "so what", or "how can you scientifically know for sure", and "why think about it, it's not like you can change it anyway if its true". Well, all three have merit actually. "So what" ... well in a way, this is true. The ferret doesn't really care in most cases. "How can you know" ... well, it's not like everyone can afford to travel across the country to a vet school that has the equipment to scientifically prove they are deaf ... and it wouldn't be good to ever put a ferret through such invasive tests anyway. So yeah, the only tests we have really, are "home" sorts of tests that are not proven scientifically. "You can't change it anyway".... true. And it's healthy to realize this. But should you think these thoughts so strongly that you ignore the fact that they are deaf? No. That wouldn't be wise for you or the animal. Frantic information gathering - Some people can even be obsessed with this. But it's easy to see why. You reach out to books to find ... nothing. You reach out to the Internet to often find just a mere mention of ferret deafness. You reach out to people and find very little people to none or who know about ferret deafness. So it just makes you dig in and research all the more. This is a quick phase as most people do find some sort of info, get satisfied, and can move on. Disappointment - Ah nobody likes to ever admit this one. But it's a natural feeling whether its' in a brief moment or for a longer time. You thought you had the perfect animal. You thought they were gorgeous and absolutely perfectly healthy. Now you look at them momentarily and realize ... they are different. I think most people will deny that they felt this even for a moment. But I dare say, most do when it's their first exposure to a deaf ferret, and to knowing a ferret can even be deaf. It's normal. It's natural. It's usually brief, once you realize that your ferret is STILL gorgeous and absolutely healthy. :) Feeling alone - This is a big one. Your friends and family might look at you like you are nuts for even realizing your ferret is deaf, and then marvel that you even care. Pet stores might be shocked (genuinely) and have no clue this can happen in ferrets. Other professionals (zoo keepers, vets, etc), may even doubt you at first. At first glance, there is no one online that has a clue as to what you are feeling. But keep looking ... because there are many of us out here that do know. Give some local shelters a call, just as you did. And you will find both knowledge and support. And you will not feel so alone. Bewilderment - You may be near this stage. You are confused as to what to do next. How do you proceed with your relationship with your animal friend? What are the do's and don'ts ... not just for deaf ferrets, but for your individual animal's personality? What is right for you? Enlightenment - Now you see the light at the end of the tunnel. You accept that your animal is slightly different, but you realize that is just fine. You have found support, and know you are not the only one who is going through this. You have found some helpful information and some helpful individuals. And now things are falling into place as to what plans you want to proceed with. You feel some sort of relief. Action - This is where you pick a plan as to how to proceed next and then do it. Whether you choose to do nothing, but be aware of your animals difference, or to choose to change your behavior and/or ways to train your ferret... you take the actions that you feel comfortable with. And you move on. There is one more stage. This stage seems to hit people at all different times. It can come first thing or last thing that you feel. It can return several times over. Or you may be one of the ones that never has to feel this emotion at all. This stage is when you feel "sadness". Sadness because you realize that your ferret will never hear your voice. Sadness because you think about how he will never hear another ferret's happy dooking noises. You might get sad for all sorts of different little reasons. Your head will be telling you that it's silly, that this is no big deal, that your ferret doesn't even KNOW it's deaf in most cases. But you still feel some sadness nonetheless. It's a very common thing. People tell me that they feel these things all the time. I myself had a lot of trouble with this emotion even though, I knew intellectually there was no reason for it. My husband ... never felt it, only to have it crop up on him TWO years after the fact. And yet some people report never even feeling a touch of this emotion, ever. I don't "know" what the stages are for people. Those are the ones I went through, and the ones many who write me go through. I'm writing this off the top of my head in response to your Merlin post. I'm sure they are either out of order, missing little facts, and missing whole stages. But, this is what I could get out today for you to read. I don't know if it will help in that you will see you are not the only one that might feel some of these things, or not. For ideas about approaching a deaf ferret and training, maybe my site will help? http://wolfysluv.jacksnet.com/deaf.html There are other pages and sites linked to it, as well as a deaf ferret email list. Warmly, Wolfy [Posted in FML issue 4055]