Tis the season, to wrap ferrets, falalalalalalala......or so they seemed
to think.  Ok - I give up.  To any and all that have ever tried to wrap
ANY SINGLE Christmas present with ferrets present (no pun intended) - my
hat is off to you.  I made the STUPID mistake of thinking that they
wouldn't bother me.  Yep.  Uh-huh.
 
Well - let's start out with Artemus (who else?).  He dashes in and sees
wrapping paper - multiple piles of presents and tape galore.  Has anyone
ever seen a ferret cry in happiness?  I did.  He cried.  Then he bounded
over to the paper - ripped it to shreds, and move to the present piles.
I had them stacked very well, and was totally done.  Well - he decided to
uhm, "rearrange" my stacks.  Mixed them all up.  It was funny when Mommy
chased him.  He bounced from one pile to the next, scattering as he went.
Enter Helena, who tried to do "clean-up".  She accomplished this, by
taking the presents she could "carry" and dashing down the stairs with
them.  Enter Romulus.  The quiet one.  You know what they say about the
quiet ones dontcha?  Yep.  Romulus takes the new "treasures" and drags
them under their couch to the "hidey hole".  Mommy, still chasing -
dashes down stairs - and trips over kitten, who has been sent to "guard"
and keep me away.  Crash.  Up I go, to see sweater disappearing under
couch.  Screaming begins for husband, who has now taken up the "chase"
for Artemus, who by now, has disrupted each and every pile in the room.
Helena comes to his rescue by attempting to steal the tape.  Now Daddy is
chasing ferret, who has last role of tape.  Mommy still screaming down
the house, for help.  Enter son.  Enter hysterical laughter.  Son, after
getting slapped several times, decides to help by lifting couch.  Fert
takes one look at him, and dashes over to bite his toes.  That'll teach
him.  Down goes couch.  Up goes couch, bite toes again - Mommy scooches
quickly under couch.  Retrieves sweater.  Retrieves remote control that
has been missing for several months.  Retrieves cordless phone that has
been missing for weeks.  **and I wondered how the LD bills got ran up"?
Down goes couch.  On Mommy.  Now ferret has look of terror - as he is eye
to eye with crunched mommy.  Ferret dashes to grab the keys, that were
under couch for days.  He is going to make a run for it!  NOOOOO!  Not
the new Mustang!!!  Up goes couch.  Out goes Mommy - out goes ferret.
In comes "watch kitten".  Kitten scales child holding couch.  Down goes
couch.  Presents are retrieved.  Keys are retrieved.  Remote retrieved.
Sweater is now in the trash.  Ferrets grounded so long they will grow
roots.  No presents for them this year!
 
Happy Holidays all!!
 
Kim and her furry army.  +1 insane kitten
[Posted in FML issue 3992]