Tis the season, to wrap ferrets, falalalalalalala......or so they seemed to think. Ok - I give up. To any and all that have ever tried to wrap ANY SINGLE Christmas present with ferrets present (no pun intended) - my hat is off to you. I made the STUPID mistake of thinking that they wouldn't bother me. Yep. Uh-huh. Well - let's start out with Artemus (who else?). He dashes in and sees wrapping paper - multiple piles of presents and tape galore. Has anyone ever seen a ferret cry in happiness? I did. He cried. Then he bounded over to the paper - ripped it to shreds, and move to the present piles. I had them stacked very well, and was totally done. Well - he decided to uhm, "rearrange" my stacks. Mixed them all up. It was funny when Mommy chased him. He bounced from one pile to the next, scattering as he went. Enter Helena, who tried to do "clean-up". She accomplished this, by taking the presents she could "carry" and dashing down the stairs with them. Enter Romulus. The quiet one. You know what they say about the quiet ones dontcha? Yep. Romulus takes the new "treasures" and drags them under their couch to the "hidey hole". Mommy, still chasing - dashes down stairs - and trips over kitten, who has been sent to "guard" and keep me away. Crash. Up I go, to see sweater disappearing under couch. Screaming begins for husband, who has now taken up the "chase" for Artemus, who by now, has disrupted each and every pile in the room. Helena comes to his rescue by attempting to steal the tape. Now Daddy is chasing ferret, who has last role of tape. Mommy still screaming down the house, for help. Enter son. Enter hysterical laughter. Son, after getting slapped several times, decides to help by lifting couch. Fert takes one look at him, and dashes over to bite his toes. That'll teach him. Down goes couch. Up goes couch, bite toes again - Mommy scooches quickly under couch. Retrieves sweater. Retrieves remote control that has been missing for several months. Retrieves cordless phone that has been missing for weeks. **and I wondered how the LD bills got ran up"? Down goes couch. On Mommy. Now ferret has look of terror - as he is eye to eye with crunched mommy. Ferret dashes to grab the keys, that were under couch for days. He is going to make a run for it! NOOOOO! Not the new Mustang!!! Up goes couch. Out goes Mommy - out goes ferret. In comes "watch kitten". Kitten scales child holding couch. Down goes couch. Presents are retrieved. Keys are retrieved. Remote retrieved. Sweater is now in the trash. Ferrets grounded so long they will grow roots. No presents for them this year! Happy Holidays all!! Kim and her furry army. +1 insane kitten [Posted in FML issue 3992]