(Our scene opens upon a view of an empty cage, the barred door has been jimmied open and the ferrets have escaped under cover of darkness....this scene dissolves and opens upon a new one, in which we see two indistinct, small figures in a garden bed. The camera pans closer to reveal Switch the Kit and Sabrina the Bat-Biter digging at the base of a large clump of dasies in the moonlight.) Scritch-scritch-scritch-dig-dig-dig Scritch-scritch-scritch-dig-dig-dig Scritch-scritch-scritch-dig-dig-dig Switch the Kit stands up, puts one paw to the small of her aching back and says "Aunt Sabrina, I'm tired and I want to go back to our hammie." "I know, but this hole isn't deep enough yet Switch. We need to bury a good chunk of wednesday's FML. Please keep digging, child. Just pretend the ground is a valuable wool carpet." Switch bends back down to the task, and clouds of dirt, tiny bits of last years leaves, and the occasional terrified beetle erupt from behind the furiously digging ladies. Finally Sabrina the Bat-Biter stands and says "This feels deep enough to me. Bring me the print-out of this mornings FML." Switch burrows between the dasies and the monarda, and returns dragging a sheaf of white paper in her mouth. One corner of the paper is heavily dimpled with fang holes and is wet with ferret spit. Sabrina says "Give me the page about Morrison first." "But isn't she our enemy, Aunt Sabrina?" said Switch, ruffling through the pages with dirty paws. "I'm quite a bit older than you, child. Trust me when I say that she is her own worst enemy." What does it mean "Why doesn't someone just get out a gun and shoot the bitch" Aunt Sabrina? "Never you mind. It's a hooman thing. Not for ferrets. I don't even want to understand. Put that page in the hole first and throw some dirt on it." Switch complies, then stands waist deep in the hole and says "Now what?" "Find the Pages about PETCO where the two hooman ladies poofed on one another." "Put those in the hole too, Aunt Sabrina?" "Yes." "And throw some dirt on them, too?" "Yes." "But isn't PETCO our enemy?" "In a way, but hooman poofs are worse than our cousin, the skunk's." Switch sniffs, then grimaces to show her fangs, "You're right! Their anal glands must be really tired out!" "Not tired enough, I'll wager", mutters Sabrina. "There will probably be more." "What is left child, read it for me, my eyes aren't what they used to be." "Well, there is something about 'stoatmeal'.." "Keep that, that was a good one!" "There is something about God and His promising not to destroy the world with water anymore.." "Whatever for when there are lawyers?" "I don't understand." "Never mind. Save those pages." "You are really deep sometimes, Aunt Sabrina. I never think about guns and poofs and God and stuff." "It's because I'm a Zen's ferret. I can't help it." "Now we may need a hole for thursday's FML as well.." "But Aunt Sabrina!" "Never mind the time! Just keep digging." Alexandra in Massachusetts cringing from all the spite [Posted in FML issue 3854]