I don't post much on the FML, only occassionally when I feel the need to be heard. I just can't get over the number of sad news posts lately. To be honest with you all, there are times when I can't bring myself to read them all so I just scroll down to read the good news and the rescue success stories and the funny fuzzy stories. Lately, I've been running home from my crazy shift work and snuggling my fuzzies until they can't stand it for one more second! There simply isn't enough time with these little guys. I've lost one rescue and that's it. No other deaths in my fuzzy family so far. That one was horrible enough...I cried for days and could barely function. Now one of my own babies is ill and I snuggle her the most of all my 6. She doesn't understand why Mommy cries during play time. It's because I can't stand the thought of not seeing her romp and stomp and boss the others around anymore. She doesn't know she's sick. She's naked now, wearing only little furry mittens to cover her fair white-skinned feet. Her red eyes look brighter than ever. She still follows me everywhere I go, begging for me to hold her up and let her explore things otherwise out of her reach. I love my fuzzies, all of them. And I've taken great pleasure in the sheltering and rescuing I've done, I really have. But right now I'm wondering how much of the illness and death I can take. I'm seriously re-evaluating my plan for long term sheltering on a bigger scale. I don't know if I'm cut out for it. Thanks for listening. Yup, it's true...I'm not so tough. Only on the outside. Jax [Posted in FML issue 3832]