QueryMan asks, Do you dare say that lot'sa folks are really doing harm to the pet store ferrets? AnswerMan: I suppose you mean like the "idiot stores" that sell ferrets that have not been neutered as kits? QueryMn: You answer and I ask; like no... not the pet store owners, but I mean those folks who feel the need to make the store conditions better for the ferrets. Don't they also buy the ferrets to get them out of horrible conditions in the stores? AnswerMn: Yes, they're good hearted folks and feel really bad at what they see, so they buy the ferrets or do what they can to "educate" the owners. QueryMn: You don't make any sense, man. How can such folk do harm to ferrets? Seems like these good-hearted folk would make things better and the stores would then sell more ferrets. What in the world is wrong with that, huh? AnswerMn: Just look at it this way: suppose nobody cared at all and these pet store ferrets were allowed to starve, become diseased possibly, and were wallowing in several inches of urine saturated feces. That's really sickening; it would likely disgust and repel customers. QueryMn: I see where you are going with this. But what would happen to these gastly ferrets if potential customers were repelled from buying them? What then? AnswerMn: Most likely they'd die or be whacked by the store owner. He certainly wouldn't be able to sell them, except maybe, to ... uh, those few folks who couldn't stand the conditions they see. QueryMn: Are you suggesting that if the ferrets were left to their fate, that the store wouldn't be able to sell them? AnswerMn: My answer is about as popular as cat feces in the kid's sand box: Yes, let them die, is my answer. QueryMn: How in the world can you suggest such a terrible decision? How are the ferret "rescue" folks going to accept that? AnswerMn: Not very well. Answerman will probably get a lot of flak. But just maybe it'll set some to thinking a little bit and perhaps they can think of these doomed ferrets as sacrificed to "animal testing", as "product consumables", such as we have right here in Seattle at the University of Washington Schools of Medicine and Nursing. QueryMn: Ok, Ok. So what's happening to ferrets there? AnswerMn: There's a Board of Physicians and one non-professional citizen on this board that governs all animal testing procedures. I've talked to the citizen on this board. Their activities are essentially secret and it is almost impossible to get any detailed information from this board. What I have managed to extract is that ferret hearts are cut from the living ferret, sliced into slabs of heart tissue, and while still beating, provide to the researchers data relative to experimental heart drugs that are pipetted on the living heart tissue. QueryMn: This reminds me of the Aztec/Mayas cultures where they cut out the hearts of living human beings and offered the beating heart to their god. But you mentioned the School of Nursing. What's the deal there? AnswerMn: As I've been told, living ferrets are used to help prevent the accidental death of human babies. Nurses need to practice how to properly insert a tracheal tube down a premature human infant's throat without harming the infant. QueryMn: So, what's that got to do with ferrets? AnswerMn: As I understand, the physiology of the ferret's throat is closest anatomically to the premature infant's throat. So it seems that the least of two evils maybe is to kill a couple of ferrets rather than risking an inept nurse killing an infant because she had no prior practice on a ferret. It goes without saying that most of these ferrets live but for a short time after receipt from the ferret mills. QueryMn: So, am I to assume then that by abandoning pet store ferrets to their fate is somehow similar to using ferrets in testing and training procedures? That pet store ferrets would become unprofitable to the store owners and that sooner or later, selling ferrets in pet stores would be history? AnswerMn: Ah, so it seems ... so it seems. Edward Lipinski, Director Ferrets North West Foundation. [Posted in FML issue 3860]