I am just now finding the strength to sit down and write you all of our Jasper's passing. He died Sunday night in my arms some 5 hours after emergency surgery for an intestinal blockage. I can't even begin to explain the pain we are in. Saturday Jasper was fine, bouncing around and being his usual self. Sunday morning at 7:00 am he seemed a little depressed, but no big red flags going off. I checked back at home around 9:00 am and he still seemed ok. We have been treating Jasper for early stages of insulinoma, so having a sleepy morning is not necessarily out of the ordinary for him. I came home for lunch at noon and found him hiding under a bed. When I scooped him up, I immediately felt that his belly was extremely bloated and hard. Our local vet was out of town, so we rushed 45 minutes to the next town for emergency surgery. I did not know the on call vet, but we had no other options available given Jasper's obvious critical condition. I was in the room for the whole surgery, which seemed to go smoothly. He removed a hairball mass from Jasper's intestine and a small piece of black rubberish material from his stomach. We have torn the two rooms apart that Jasper has to roam in and can not for the life of us figure out what the rubbery thing was. We always prided ourselves on quality ferret proofing and care, so finding out we must have missed something is particularly distressing. Anyway, after the surgery, the vet said we could take Jasper right home. I was concerned about leaving so soon, as Jasper was barely coming out of the anesthetic at this point. The Vet said it would be better to get him right home rather than to keep him at the clinic, besides they do not have attendants there on the weekends. Reluctantly we loaded up and took Jasper home. At first he seemed to be doing fine, squirming a bit, but generally sleeping.... After about 3 hrs, Jasper seemed to really be out of it, and I noticed his jaws were really clenched tight, I also noticed a very slight rasp to his breathing. I decided to call the vet anyway to see what he thought, his suggestion was that Jasper may be a little cold. He also said given Jasper's age (6 yrs old), he would take quite some time to come out of the anesthetic. We had been through adrenal surgery with Jasper about a year ago, so we did know the importance of keeping him warm. Figuring the Vet should know what he was talking about, we relaxed a bit. We did warm up a heating pad, even though is was pretty warm in his carrier. Less than an hour later, I was sitting next to Jasper and he coughed once. I scooped him up, figuring he was probably waking up. He suddenly coughed a few more times, squeaked loudly and he was gone. Our world shattered!!! I was so sure that Jasper was going to pull through this and be fine. The vet even checked things out during the surgery and said he could see no problems with the pancreas, so his insulinoma was not progressing very rapidly, he also said all of his other organs were in good shape. We lost our only other ferret (Teeka) just 8 months ago to lymphoma. I guess we really did not realize how much Jasper helped us get through that until he passed. When Teeka died, Jasper was always there for kisses and cuddles and it really seemed to help us deal with our grief. Now were are totally alone and having an incredible time dealing with it. Our apartment seems so quiet and lonely without our little dookers running around..... We are now struggling with how much time should we wait until we bring new babies into our life. I am also struggling with wondering if I can start again.... Even though having ferrets in our life has been a total joy, I am not sure I can bear the thoughts of loving and loosing again.... Thanks for listening Brett & Melissa Lapham In loving memory of beloved Teeka and Jasper [Posted in FML issue 3778]