I enjoy historical mystery novels (not as much as I relish forensic anthropology ones, but they do place a comfortable second place). In Lindsey Davis' latest book of the Falco series, _Ode to a Banker_, Falco finds himself having to urge his semi-estranged father to buck up. In desperation he relies on the most repellent of ploys: an offer to alert some over-weaning relatives to his father's plight. "Like a ferret down a pipe" described the speed of their expected responses. [Posted in FML issue 3777]