Here's what I call my group, along with a little history on each one. When Nikita was alive they were collectively known as the Sensational Six or the Goof Troop. Now they're the Fabulous Five. Nikita (waiting at the Bridge): was known as Nikki, Nikki-Nikki, Nikki-kita, Nastinka, Nikki-keedy. Dante, my silver man, has always been his own guy, has never much liked to be held or cuddled. He'll follow you around and see what you're doing, even climb up on the couch and sit next to you companionably, but if you try to snuggle him, he struggles to be put down. He just doesn't have time for cuddling! Things to do, people to see. The only time I ever got to snuggle him was the night he went into shock following surgery, and had to be cradled on a heating pad all night, wrapped in a blanket. He is the sweetest boy I have, wonderful disposition and temperament. He's known as Dante-Man, Mr. Man, Mr. Man-cuso, Dante Hicks (fans of "Clerks" gimme a "Hell Yea!") Dusty, my rescue boy. Dusty lived with a girl who kept him in a bare wire cage and fed him cat food and fruit loops. I got him from her when he was only about 6 months old, a big scared boy who bit any part of a human that came near him (the girl's dad used to toss him down the celler stairs into the dark basement for "fun" and the girl used to let her Scottie play with him and grab him by the back and shake him). Dusty had some paralysis of his hind legs from back injuries, but developed a funny little stiff-legged hop to compensate. He's now 5, and he is my baby. He still bites strangers, but not me. I kiss his little face every day and remind him how much I love him. He's known as Dustbuster, Dustman, Dustin Flaybog, and Grimple. (Grimple because I was watching a Springer episode one day that had the members of GWAR on it. The female band member, Slymenstra Hymen, had brought her boyfriend whom she introduced only as "Grimple". I said to my husband, "I'm naming my next ferret Grimple." But Dusty came pre-named, so it stuck as a nickname instead.) Willow (Beanie). Beanie was a pet store purchase a month before Christmas. She hopped up the sides of the tank until she almost hopped ouot, and we bought her. Beanie is not 4.5, a hundle of energy, the friendliest ferret I've got. She has invented numerous games to play with her humans and has an uncanny knack for knowing to switch games when it looks like the humans are getting bored with such funfests as Drag the Bag, Drag the Towel, Drag the Sock, or Drag the Cat. She earned the "Beanie" nickname early on, because she never got much bigger than a Beanie Baby and has some bottom-heaviness to her as though she's filled with beans! She's also known as WillowBean, The Beaner, Teeny Beanie, Bean-erific, The Fat Chick, and Beanie Weenie. (Footnote: Beanie has the distinction of being the ONLY pet-store purchase out of 5 that has not cost me an arm and a leg in vet bills and given me worried, sleepless nights! Not a fabulous percentage.) Boomer. Boomer was my last pet-store purchase. I met him when he arrived at the pet store, and the first time I picked him up as a baby he clung to my shirt and his eyes locked onto me. There was no way I was buying another ferret, I already had 4 and was not going to support the pet-store ferret trade. I figured I'd just visit him until he was sold. But he stayed in the pet store for three months, getting bigger and bigger. Another ferret from that batch, an albino, also didn't sell. By the fourth month, both boys were well past the "kit" stage and looking like mature ferrets. And no one was buying them. I went in more frequently, and one day the manager asked me if I'd like a special price on the black ferret. I told her I'd been thinking about him, but it seemed cruel now to separate them when they'd been "tankmates" for four months and had clearly become attached (they slept tucked into each other like a perfect black-and-white Ying and Yang). The manager brightened and said, "Well, I'll give you a special price on the black one and throw in the white one for free!" Hmm...it wasn't exactly what I had in mind, but then she told me that unless they sold soon, they'd be "sent back" because they couldn't get any more kits in until these older ones were gone, and the store was spending a lot on their care and feeding. By this time I knew enough about Marshall's to know that older ferrets sent back were not going to some special room where they'd be pampered and loved. I paid my $75 and brought home the black ferret, Boomer, and the albino, Rocky. Boomer turned out to be the most fun-loving boy I have, and although he's on his second battle with adrenal and is looking a little bald, he still loves to play and carouse. Boomer's known as BooBoo, Booby, Booby Man, Boobster, Boo-Boo-cefus, Goofus, and The Boob. Rocky, my albino boy. He was a biter (I would be too if I spent the first 4 months of my life in a fishtank) and is still pretty unpredictable. I know his body language well enough to know when he's thinking about biting, so I never get bit. Rocky LOVES people food. He stalks me when I eat, and is in heaven when he gets a lick of ice cream, a taste of sweet tea, a crumb of toast, or a slurp of cereal milk. Albinos creeped me out before I got one; now I just love watching his expressive little face! Rocky is known as Rocky-Bear, Rocky Road, Rocky Man, The Rockster, and Rockabilly. That's my crew! -Heather W. in Western Massachusetts [Posted in FML issue 3791]