I'm going to answer a few points at a time, and hopefully not write anything that will be taken as rude or flame-y. It's an issue worth some exploration and explanation: >Every shelter out in Illinois states that small animals will not be >adopted out to families with kids under 6. I think this is the most >absolutely ridiculous thing I have ever heard. To you, a responsible parent who watches her chidren's interactions with pets carefully and makes sure the pets are handled gently and lovingly, this seems like a ridiculous rule. To the shelters who have taken in countless ferrets from families who found that their kids and ferrets didn't mix, who bought it as a pet "for the kids" and then realized that young children can't take on that level of responsibility, or those who dropped off ferrets who were injured or ill because of rough treatment at the hands of youngsters, this is an unfortunate rule but one that keeps ferrets out of the hands of irresponsible people. I believe you when you say that you are responsible and teach your children to treat ferrets gently and lovingly. You describe this beautifully. If only everyone were like that! But consider for a moment: suppose the shelter had on their adoption application the following question: Will you insure that the children in your household under the age of 6 will treat the ferret lovingly and gently? OF COURSE people who want the ferret will answer Yes to that question, even if they're not actually that responsible. Unfortunately, many people don't acknowledge their children's potential to harm an animal or behave badly towards it. I have a friend who would tell you her son would never hurt an animal, but I think she's dead wrong, and one day her denail is going to cost a pet its life. Her 5-year-old is a violent little tyke, but in her eyes he's a peaceful, gentle giant and you would never convince her otherwise. He didn't mean to kick kitty in the side, he was "playing". He didn't mean to throw his hamster so hard, he was just "playing". She would most certainly assure a shelter operator that her son would never harm a fly, and if the shelter believed her, a ferret's life would be placed in danger. Anticipating the argument that the shelter could have the youngster visit and observe the child's interaction with the ferret, children are OFTEN better-behaved in unfamiliar surroundings than at home. A child who pets the ferret nicely at the shelter might throw things at it (or worse, throw it) at home, if they happen to have a parent who is less responsible than you are. >Just remember that there are some families out there, like mine that >actually watch their kids and would be and are competent in operating a >home with both small animals and small kids. ` know. Shelters know this too. Unfortunately it is not so easy to know who is responsible and who isn't. I know plenty of irresponsible parents who would swear on a bible that they do a super job supervising their kids when actually they are totally lazy about it. Few people really recognize their own level of irresponsibility. Surely you know that accidents can happen in a split-second, even when you're right there. A ferret is much smaller than a cat or a dog; a child simply falling on them by accident could harm or kill them, and it wouldn't be anyone's fault necessarily, but bad judgement on the parent's part for combining a small vulnerable animal with an off-balance, exhuberant youngster! One VERY important fact: like any other pet, dog or cat, a mistreated ferret can quickly learn to bite the hand that is tormenting it. A parent may not realize their child is poking the ferret until the ferret has latched onto chubby little fingers in its own defense. Shelters have to weigh the realization that some parents have the responsibility (and intelligence) to understand that the animal was defending itself, and take the opportunity to explain to the child why you don't hurt an animal...but there are also plenty of parents who would either dump the ferret right back on the shelter ("It bit my precious, innocent little boy!") or worse, have it destroyed. Most shelters know of at least one ferret who has been dumped or destroyed in just this scenario. None of them want to see it happen if they can avoid it! To sum up: shelters have a hard job to do. Many of their ferrets have already come from abusive households, and some have been abused by children specifically. Shelters, unfortunately, have been privy to the uglier side of human nature in many cases. They have seen the families who don't want to keep their ferret because they discovered that "kids and ferrets are too much." They have taken in ferrets that children have stomped on when the parents weren't looking. They have taken in ferrets with critical abdominal blockages because small children fed them things they weren't supposed to have when the parents were out of the room. They have rehabilitated ferrets who were so tormented by children poking things at them through their cage that they bite any hand they see. And once these ferrets are healthy and sane again, shelters are understandably reluctant to let them back into the hands of the age group that harmed them. Probably it would have been nice if a shelter had given you more of a chance; at least allowed you to visit the shelter, meet your children, and talk with you about the ways you planned to keep the ferrets safe. They might even have allowed you to adopt one if they'd gotten to know you. Not all shelters have this policy, and I'm not saying it's a policy they ought to have 100% of the time. I know of households with young kids and ferrets that are perfectly harmonious, and the children love their ferrets dearly. I just wanted to give some reasons whya shelter might have this policy...and you shouldn't take it personally. As with most things, those who are irresponsible spoil it for those who do actually have a sense of responsibility! Shelters (of all kinds, not just ferret) see so much of the worst of people, and for the safety of the animals they have to assume the worst rather than the best of people sometimes. Sad but true...but I am glad to hear that your kids are interacting well with the ferret you ended up getting from the pet store. I hope they grow up to be ferret-lovers too! Sincerely, Heather in Massachusetts No kids, just ferrets! [Posted in FML issue 3714]